Where my demons hide…

The reality is that She can’t get close to me,  because I don’t think I can even truly open up..the innermost core of who I am is so protected, covered, and layered, locks, chains,boxes, wraps, covered and covered, because I am afraid that the person who can actually get in there…what if they don’t like what they see?  So instead I parcel out small bits of myself..here taste this..do you like it?  when I encounter anything negative I retreat.the way I retreat it be totally others focused which is pretty much my entire life…..but what I really want…really really really want…is for someone to see all of me and still love me…and that my friends…nobody has seen…..

In other news I learned Her’s maiden name today…i’m spending my day praying…for HER…i’ve been so focused on my own feelings…I just need to put some attention to those around me…I called my son this morning to tell him i loved him and was proud of him..the reason?  because I texted my oldest daughter and son last night around 930pm asking what the “Young and Creative people do on a Friday night these days”  he texted back he was in an acting class!..Daughter said that she was petting kitties,  and eating dessert and talking..(in that order)

Anyways,  TTYL my friends!  From the Deepest and rosiest part of the South,  Where the Men are Men,  the women are “Whoa-man” and all the children are above average–Beauty for Ashes

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