Today I found out about an audition for a feature film. I jumped out of bed and went to kinkos to make copies of the lines I have to memorize. It’s a role for a classy casino exec. She is the trophy wife of a casino owner, and is very desirable. She wears an expensive ruby as a necklace. I plan to wear the only diamond I own given to me by Guy.
There are a lot of lines to memorize but not to an extreme. I feel so anxious. I feel like I’m not tall enough, I’m not exotic looking enough, or maybe I don’t look rich enough. All of these thoughts are crowding my mind.
I just need to get the lines memorized. Then, my confidence will grow. Just this exact second my dad text me, “I have faith in you.”
God, my stomach is in knots.
“Jesus, help me have a photographic mind to memorize this script. Please take away all my fear and anxiety. I want this role so bad. I’ve always wanted every role so and, but I never book anything. Maybe that’s why I have low belief in my self. When you face rejection all of the time, your confidence dwindles. I just want my dreams to come true. Here I have a a fantastic role, and it will help me out financially. I don’t want w to go back to a nanny job. Let me become the character in Your holy name. Amen”