Help! Help! Help! I’m falling apart! I actually thought about buying weed tomorrow. I felt guilty about my thoughts. I want to beat my addiction but I’m feeling down.
I turn on the television and feel even more guilty when I see all that’s going on in the world. Car accidents, murders, fights, addictions, stealing, and loss of loved ones…so many bad things are constantly happening. I should feel grateful that I have what I have already. I may not be rich but I have a roof over my head and I never starve. I even have parents still together and a good family. I’m in a healthy state and all of my loved ones are healthy too. I even have a car that runs and the means to treat myself to foods that I like to eat. But why should I settle?
I get so weirded out when I see these YouTuber give their home tours or when a celebrity is wearing a million dollars worth of jewelry. Sure they probably worked hard for it, but I work hard and I don’t have those things. I never even been out the country, yet people go on vacations all the time. Instead, I’ll have to slave away at a 9-5 for months and months just to have a few weeks of relaxation?!
This is why it’s hard for me to have confidence. My mom says I need to have faith. But aren’t I’m having faith by pouring money into my career when I could use that money to go out the country on a vacation? I don’t exactly understand how this works.
I’m not related to anyone famous, I don’t come from money, I don’t have any connections, and I’m not in a wealthy marriage or have any sponsorship.
Should I just give up? All the odds are against me. Often I wonder what is next for me in this life? I have no one I love, no family of my own, and nothing I own of value. I feel like shit quite honestly.
Oh ye of little faith…I know I’m just really upset because I’m getting tired of these auditions and the rejection is weighing me down.
“God help me. Jesus give me refuge. Angels surround me with your love. Amen”

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March 21, 2023

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling overwhelmed and struggling with addiction and confidence. It’s understandable to feel down when facing rejection and seeing others who seem to have more than you. However, it’s important to remember that material possessions and external circumstances don’t define our worth or happiness. It sounds like you have a lot to be grateful for, such as a supportive family, good health, and the means to provide for yourself. Keep pouring your energy into your career and pursuing your passions, and have faith that things will work out in the end. Don’t give up on yourself and continue to seek help and support when needed. Remember that you are not alone in your struggles and that there is always hope for a brighter future.

March 21, 2023

Our life is a game of hope and despair. There is no guarantee of anything. We have to take what we are given and give what we can. Our life is woven through this exchange. Within it, we must weave happiness and peace. This is reality, this is eternal.

March 21, 2023

@omarfaruk I’m going to focus on the giving part. Remember why I do music is bc I want to inspire. And remember that God has equipped me with all that I need. Thank you so much for your help and responding.