Barefoot and Pregnant – the Summer of ’22
OK, so I got distracted, but it was a good distraction because it gave me time to think more about it.
Before I get to the topic, though, I want to share my weekend. It was the first weekend that things have settled down enough for me to consider it a normal, busy young family weekend. It just felt that way, normal. I love the business of being a new mommy, and keeping busy during the week with school and our work hours, and having family around us all the time. This past weekend was at my parents. (By the way, even the switching back and forth every week, while somewhat unsettling, has calmed down to a ‘normal’ pace. We basically have two of everything, so it’s just a matter of moving ourselves from place to place, our parents have been so good to us, and we are now paying for all of Micah’s expenses ourselves and all our own food, and still have enough to add to our savings. We’re looking toward another year before we are sure we can support ourselves completely. Honestly, we could now, but our parents have blessed us with support of all kinds. We even got a date night to spend just cuddling together without baby, as my parents took him to his other grandparents for a visit while the two of us had a nice dinner and relaxing evening together. We even had a ‘normal’ church weekend, having joined a young couples class for Sunday School and a nice service with kids singing. Our church family has been a blessing as well, they are so supportive of us, not financially, but certainly emotionally and accepting of us, even though we are not yet married. Micah can now go to day care during Sunday School and service, so we can worship and be thankful together.
Last summer…
When I left off I was 15 weeks pregnant, had gained 7 pounds, and just graduated middle school. I’d be headed to high school as a sophomore in the fall. Still, only the two of us and the doctor’s office knew we were pregnant, but it was time to make that announcement. I could not imagine putting on a bikini and not having to explain the fullness in my belly. I was getting to the point where it was getting difficult to hide it, it just seemed like every time I stood up my tummy just shifted down and out. Not a lot, but enough to make me uncomfortable, and now that I was going to be home all day, and not spending any time in school until fall, there were going to be more opportunities for me to be wearing something, or someone to see me partially dressed and comment on my somewhat odd shape, busty, thin waist, and rounded bulging tummy! It was time.
We had planned this for a while, we kept saying we wanted to have a nice dinner with both our parents, as a thank you for all they had done for us as we were growing up. We choose Father’s Day. It might seem kinda confrontational, but we wanted it to be a nice evening with our parents, who treat us with respect, and we honor our parents and respect them. I know, that also sounds inconsistent, we say we honor them, but we have been disobedient and secretive about the intimacy of our relationship. I’m not excusing our decision, which was sinful, but it’s really hard to explain the depth of our relationship with our parents. Mine were very clear about sexual relationships before marriage, but we had informative conversations and my parents were well aware of my desire to have a family, although I don’t think they ever expected it to be at the age of 15, and it’s not like we came to the decision lightly, or with a long time of consideration. The finality of the decision was over less than six weeks, and we knew what the answer would be if we told them what we planned. They would have made us wait. That was the essence of our disobedience. But the fact now was that we were going to have a baby and we needed to tell them before it became way too obvious. The presence of our sin was going to show up soon. Our sin will find us out.
It was a nice evening. We had two envelopes prepared, one from me to my parents, and one from my boyfriend to his parents. Inside we had an 8 week ultrasound image. We handed them the envelopes and I said, “Mom, Daddy? We have something to share with you.”
My boyfriend spoke next. “Please open the envelopes but don’t unfold the paper inside.” He waited, and my Mom said, “What’s going on here, Emma Beth?” I smiled at here and she gasped. “Oh, Emma Beth!” My boyfriends spoke again. “Mom, Dad, Mr. & Mrs Turner? We’re expecting your first grandchild in December.”
October 27, 2023
The next hour was painful, funny, disappointing for our parents, embarrassing for us. The biggest surprise for them, besides our having a baby, though, was how responsible and financially prepared we were were. I think that went a long way towards making the decisions and support they gave us throughout the pregnancy and the last 10 months so much easier for them. They also realized that while our decision appeared to be selfish and immature, we had truly given it a lot of thought, planning and in a sense, prayer. I say in a sense, because some may not believe that one can choose a path like we did after prayerful consideration, when it included some sinful behaviors. But we felt we were serving our biological purpose and fulfilling our created roles as man and woman, husband and wife, father and mother.
As we returned to a then ‘normal’ routine of working and taking summer school courses (some of those were AP courses, too, especially for my boyfriend who was going into his junior year) we began to spend more time together until we worked out the weekly schedule of living at one house of the other starting on Sunday night. Toward the end of July I was into my fifth month, and for me at least it was impossible to hide my pregnant belly, even with the largest and most flowing tops or dresses. Simply moving around would cause the bulge to appear, so I pretty much stopped trying to hide it and, with the summer heat, simply wore as little comfortable things as necessary. At my 20 week appointment I had gained a total of 12 pounds.
During June and July the summer sessions were both in school and home based learning for me, but the second half was nearly all at school. So…instead of trying to hide the fact that I was pregnant, and getting bigger every week, I simply changed to clothes that did nothing to hide my bulging belly. There were few girls that I knew anyway, because the classes were more regional instead of local, and my local school friends were not those who needed the extra classes. Besides that, two of the other girls were also pregnant, out of a group of 18, one of them was due around the first day of school and the other had just started her fourth month. Between school and work and OB visits, along with preparing our homes for baby it was a busy summer that went by fast. Our parents were slowly giving us more and more freedom and responsibility, and blessing us with supplies and time to be alone together. We were already sleeping together every night, but they would weekly give us alone time as well. By the way, both our parents enjoyed their own date nights and had become good friends as a result of our relationship.
Looking back, the last weeks of school were just as routine as most school weeks and months, with the exception of the baby growing inside me and making it’s presence known with kicks and bumps, and the body changes that come with the middle months of pregnancy. The bigger I got, the more I was enjoying being pregnant, and more I longed for the day when I would meet our baby. By the time school started I was 26 weeks and, adding another four pounds, had added a total of 16 to my body. Nearly everyone at school was surprised how much I had changed during the summer! I lost a few former school friends, but gained as many more. It didn’t matter as much as the fact that I was going to have a baby and become a mommy, that I had parents, ‘in laws’ and a ‘husband’ who loved me, and I was experiencing something I longed for and wanted to be fulfilled. The changes in my body were amazing and I loved every bulge and roundness, I loved my bigger, fuller breasts and belly, and the sexual arousal that I felt during pregnancy.
I was growing bigger and more comfortable with being pregnant, growing to love my body, myself and my boyfriend, and truly felt like I was doing what I was meant to do, to become a mother, wife (someday soon I hoped) and spend my life making and raising children with the love of my life.