Meditations On Despair

  Is there anything quite as terrible, or beautiful, or heart breaking, as watching someone you care for experience a pure moment of fearless pride and elation? Seeing their eyes sparkle with the momentary belief that all of their dreams will come true, and there is nowhere else they would r...

      "Should you be lucky enough to strike gold, remember that your children weren't there when you were swinging the pick.   My son lives in a cloud of success...but it's my success. Perhaps when that evaporates, and his face is pressed against the reality of the sidewa...

  Noticed Orion was back this evening-- my own personal herald to the fall season. There is a certain patch of emptiness above my balcony which features an unusually non-light-polluted chunk of sky, and when september rolls around Orion begins to show up there...very late in the evening at f...

  "I'm sorry. I didn't know it would be this difficult.."  "Don't worry about it. I've had enough easy goodbyes in my life...I'm honored to finally have a difficult one."   Ahh, sweet rejection. If there's one pleasant thing I can say about it, in general, ...

  I have lost the ability to prolong the hatred for that which I write, and seem to be able to barely keep entries up for a day without removing them. Perhaps if I keep this as quick and quaint as possible, it will be spared... I am hungry for beauty. It is tragic that we...

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    "The cruelest lies are often told in silence."    

I stumbled into this old country song the other day, who's melody really grabbed my ears. I have worked high and long to boil down the formula that accounts for what it is exactly that I like about any particular song, so as to use it, somehow, to find more songs that I would instantly…

  "Unextraordinary people who fight for what they believe are fucking obnoxious." -Me   As usual, I can not stomach people who feel the need to project, rather than absorb. I have had it with angry hippies trying to drag me into their pety, shallow, and embittered battle ...

I seem to have lost my meaning, or rather, any and all value for anyone or anything. I hesitate to speak in definite terms, as I suspect I'll stumble across some of it eventually, as is often the case, but something is decidedly different this time around. Where, in most cases, the loss of signif...