I came to the realization that I can’t live with anymore “what-if” scenarios.
I’m currently talking to “L”, and I’m trying to work up the courage to tell her how I feel. I’m literally shaking over the thought of telling her, but I need to. I can’t live with not knowing. I don’t want any regrets. I don’t want to find out in the future “You liked me? Why didn’t you tell me?” or “I had those same feelings, but didn’t think you did, so I didn’t act upon it.”
So I’m “just ripping the band-aid off quickly” and telling her. I hope it doesn’t ruin our friendship, but it has to be done.. regardless..
Even if something doesn’t come from it, at least I know and it will be over with.
I don’t think my heart can take it. Hearing her speak Portuguese to her family on the call just makes me smile. I don’t know why it’s like that, but I love it. She always wants to mute, but I tell her not to. She knows I love hearing her talk, plus throwing in the Portuguese just makes it that much better.
Fuck, I have never been so in love like this, and it’s fucking me up.