No Regrets

I came to the realization that I can’t live with anymore “what-if” scenarios.


I’m currently talking to “L”, and I’m trying to work up the courage to tell her how I feel. I’m literally shaking over the thought of telling her, but I need to. I can’t live with not knowing. I don’t want any regrets. I don’t want to find out in the future “You liked me? Why didn’t you tell me?” or “I had those same feelings, but didn’t think you did, so I didn’t act upon it.”

So I’m “just ripping the band-aid off quickly” and telling her. I hope it doesn’t ruin our friendship, but it has to be done.. regardless..

Even if something doesn’t come from it, at least I know and it will be over with.


I don’t think my heart can take it. Hearing her speak Portuguese to her family on the call just makes me smile. I don’t know why it’s like that, but I love it. She always wants to mute, but I tell her not to. She knows I love hearing her talk, plus throwing in the Portuguese just makes it that much better.


Fuck, I have never been so in love like this, and it’s fucking me up.

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August 20, 2021

Just read this entry and I don’t think it is about living with What-if’s but more about you owing it to yourself to express love and to be loved. So go for it.

And about her speaking Portuguese? Oh my #%*&! I mean just the thought of seeing a tall, dark, muscular guy and then hearing him speak Portuguese, Spanish or French just gets me feeling all kinds of hot…O I can just imagine how you feel when you here your ‘L’ speak Portuguese.

Ooh you know what you should do…is learn a phrase in Portuguese and say it to her. Like I would find a way to tell her how you feel for her in Portuguese. Oh gosh I think I need to get my husband to learn some Spanish/Portuguese/French phrases…

August 21, 2021

Hope it goes well, my ex told me his feeling over the phone too. I agree you have to tell her, even with the possiblity of rejection.