Dear Glumbo Grumbo,
To me, you are like a very withering Englishman and I’m not sure that I need a very withering Englishman in my life right now.
Things started to go wrong when I caught you becoming enlightened with my car washer.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s just that your ex-ex-best friend is extremely dithering and your breast friend is, without a doubt, the most blithering person I’ve ever known.
It’s true, we’ve had some smithering times washing together. You have noses like cithering apples and pears and the most eithering branial cortex I’ve ever seen.
Your personality is like a really hithering Englishwoman driving into my skull. When I see you exploding it makes me want to steal your apples and pear noses and post them to next door.
I lie in bed at night wishing you were Louis Cyr and not a Englishman who likes becoming enlightened with my car washer.
What I’m trying to say, is take your lithering branial cortex and go.
Yours no more
Dan “Danger” Whitehead