Free from the psychopath

I have awaited this moment for over a year now. The day I can write about me moving out of my apartment with Roomie and feeling free of her manipulation. I had prepared to make my exit during December, but I did not want to leave around Christmas–because it seemed like too much hassle and I was working very long nights at work. I had hoped that Roomie would have a mature response to my announcement of my departure. Mature, it was not…

I had been feeling depressed and had this black cloud looming, no matter how much sage I was burning! She constantly wanted to go somewhere and shop, or go eat out. I work from home, so it was VERY annoying to hear her ask me when I was done with work. Locking the door didn’t help… she’d text or knock and ask me to come out and talk to her. ARE YOU THERE??? CAN YOU HEAR ME??? I just couldn’t take it. The cat piss on the carpet was burning my eyes.

I went to the leasing office and told them everything. I said that I wanted to get out of the apartment ASAP, and they said I needed to submit a 30-day notice. I knew that was going to be tricky since BOTH Roomie and I had to sign the notice. I went back and told Roomie that I was the primary lease holder, and that if I left, she would have to leave too or apply for the apartment solo. Since she doesn’t have a job, she would not qualify for the apartment. The rent is over $3k, so I knew for sure she would be having trouble. After telling her that I wanted out, she seemed, at first, pleasant about it. “Oh, I’m happy for you.” Then it got hairy.

The whole argument that followed was her way of saying…why are you leaving me? Don’t you know I can’t survive on my own? She doesn’t understand that after swindling $4k out of me for bedroom furniture and Botox, that I have ZERO sympathy for any whining. I think it is really funny when she asks me to pay for $12 sandwiches or “Can you buy me these Band-Aids?” when she owes me thousands. A lawyer told me.. you can’t sue anyone if they don’t have any money. This chick knew what she was doing and she’s a PRO. The way she made me feel extreme guilt for not pitching in and helping her was crippling. I suppose I have never experienced this type of person.. EVER. I am a really easy going and nice person, but I have a strong personality. If anyone does anything against me, I will turn into the Scorpio that you read about.

She went into her bedroom to stew on what I had told her. I started cooking for the both of us, because I am not the asshole that she claims I am. The stove was on and I was making Mac N Cheese. She comes flying out of her bedroom and asked me to stop cooking HER groceries and using her pans to cook with. She had turned off the burner earlier and I did not notice, I thought it turned off on its own. I blocked her from coming in the kitchen using just my body. She was trying to turn off the burners again. At this point, all of her bullshit that she had pulled on me over the past year had built up and I was going to stand up for myself. I continued to block her and I knew she was going to attack me so I put my hands up in defense. She grabbed my hand and bent my left ring finger backwards, then hit my chest. She walked away and threw items at me from off the counter. My finger was in pretty bad pain, so I left the apartment to call the police.

I called my mom to tell her to come down to the office. The police came and took my statement. Roomie called me and said she would tell the police I tried to throw her in or on the oven when it was on. I told her to go ahead and tell them whatever crazy whack-a-doodle story she wanted–I knew she had an arrest warrant. After the police had learned she had a warrant from shoplifting, they asked me if I wanted her arrested. I did say that I knew she’d somehow escape her arrest…like she did last time with the same officer! I did not have her arrested, and possibly I regret that decision.

We were told to stay apart for 24-hours. She continued to text me like nothing happened. I avoided her for a week while on medical leave for my finger. I had it x-rayed. It was swollen but no breakage. I found an apartment and luckily I got it. Unfortunately, it was not available for 30 days, so I had to bear living with her for a month. As I prepared to move, I offered to help her find affordable housing and even filled out the application for her. For some strange reason, she did not want to submit the application. I flashed back to her slamming her bedroom door in my face when I was trying to discuss something, and she called her son and told him that I was breaking down her bedroom door to attack her. I never laid a hand on her, but she had told a few people that I was ‘scaring and intimidating’ her. Funny how a lot of those people, including family members, no longer speak to her. In fact, they blocked her from calling–according to her.

I called the Domestic Violence Hotline and talked to a woman about the trauma I was feeling after being attacked. I was definitely struggling mentally with it… but most of all, I was upset with myself for allowing this situation to happen in the first place. All the red flags were there when I first met her and I ignored them because I felt sorry for her. I thought it would be fun to share a space with someone who had similar interests, who liked to eat as much as I do, who liked to watch Johnny Depp movies. Turns out that we did all of those things, but it came at a huge cost–financially and mentally. The first day we moved in together, she demanded that I purchase furniture because she was getting anxiety about not having dressers to put her stuff into. She had a good job at the time, but I should have not allowed her to push me to purchase anything for her. I bought her mattress and bed frame, two nightstands, a dresser, and a vanity. Two bottles of perfume. Botox and lip injections. “I’ll pay you back.”

I had her on a payment schedule that I drafted up. She said the weekly payments were totally doable. I did not see one cent back until 12 months later. She gave me $300 out of the $4,000. That’s all I’ve seen out of her. She swindled and did it at the beginning when she had the job. She quit the job, got another and was fired from it. She told me she could not get unemployment because “nobody will help me figure it out”. I still do not understand to this very day what happened with unemployment, but I am SURE it had to do with not being able to apply for government assistance.

Speaking of government assistance… she was able to get food and they paid her rent for over a year while she sat and did nothing but watch TikTok all day? Do you know who pays for this? Tax payers do! People can literally just say.. fuck it.. and quit their jobs. I was so shocked she got as much money as she did. This will all catch up to her, I’m sure. She’s swindling the doctors to get double medication for her anxiety meds. She tried to swindle my BF to get him to buy her paintings and he said NO, THANKS. She kept asking me why he said no, and why he doesn’t like her paintings. This is how her manipulation starts… the GUILT.

The guilt starts out with a very softly asked question… why? Why don’t you want to help me? Then you have to come up with an uncomfortable answer. NO matter what your answer is, the guilt is then placed on you. “But don’t you understand that I can’t get a job because every time I apply I get a fake job application? It’s all fake jobs online. So, I have no money and I really need to eat. You don’t want me to eat? I am really tired and I can’t stand up for a long time, so I need help. It would be great if you cooked food for me.” Tell me, how do you tell this person no? I said no once, and she went in her room hysterically crying and called someone to tell them I am abusive for raising my voice to her. I have raised my voice MANY times because she tries so many angles to manipulate me that I can’t take it! I have never called her a name or threatened her. That’s not in my nature to do.

I’ve moved…I’m safe. She still texts me daily and demands that I talk to her. She apparently hid things from me while moving so I’d have to come back to get it. She told the movers that I was an asshole. She also did one last swindle on me for kicks. She told her boyfriend to help me move, and he did a great job. She asked me for the payment that we had agreed upon and I’m pretty sure she kept it and never gave it to him. I would have paid him direct, but he claims that “She’s the boss” and she was supposed to handle everything. Whatever, it is all over now.

I no longer have to hear her moaning loudly while having sex. That was a big one for me… so awful to hear that several times a day while men in their 20s came to fuck a 50 year old. People these days tell me that I’m slut-shaming. Well, I really don’t give a shit about your opinion. When you live with a sex worker and you have to hear that all day while you work from home and your dog barks constantly, then you get back to me on that opinion. She also blamed me for “forcing” her to go into sex work. I never forced her, she brought this on herself for not being serious about what it takes to survive. Her method of survival is to use other people to get what she wants and never appreciates it. I am a fool for allowing this person into my life. I found out later that a friend taught her these ways. Their scam is blackmail…

What they do is scam men into having them take photos of them naked, then using it against them later. Married men are the target. They have sex with these men, take photos of their house or of them.. then say they’ll tell their wives if they don’t get paid. It apparently works well for the friend, and she’s also in her 50s struggling with work. Why do I feel like drug dealing is not so bad after all?