Again.

So the moment I walked into that building once again, felt so surreal to me. It felt like I was that scared child but in different skin. In a different time and a whole other life time ago. I thought that life would have gone in the past like all of the other things that have ultimately shaped me. In life I guess there is so much more for me to say and maybe this is a time to come to terms with I did not say those years ago. If I knew then what I knew now and that if I knew not speaking would hold so much onto my sister that is shaped her differently that I. But why me? Why am I so different from the others? Is there something that I understood that the others didn’t. I did not wan to feel like the victim once again and I knew then that I had to fight. Not to have this to happen to me. Not again. I took what I knew from I learned from others and went in to combat mode and knew that I had to get out there. I knew that I wasn’t stronger than him and once I felt the hands on my neck. I knew there so no going back from that type of stuff. It would have to take alot to flip the switch in his head. I wasn’t that eight year old who couldn’t do anything. I am bigger, more able to speak more. When it was all over and I was able to walk away. There was this sense of confusion like would anyone even believe me? This type of things doesn’t happen to just anyone. Why does this stuff happen to me and I am able to come back out weaker and broken but still have some sort of hope that this feeling will get better. Am I strong? Or will I become this weak little girl again.