Mote thoughts

Its really hard to do this.

And I’m afraid if i do, i will have lost him forever,  but i already have so why can’t i drop it?

I can. I’m trying so hard to just be that strong woman i used to be,  even before i was married.

The thing is, i was a whore as well.

Now, i don’t want that with anyone else, and i have kids.

So i can’t do that, anymore.

And with my self esteem in the hamper and most of my teeth missing,  thats my very next step after i get my vehicle,  its to get my teeth done. And after that step, look tf out.

I plan to go back to the poisoning bitch i once was.

I can hire a babysitter.

I can allow my son to watch her for a few hours while she’s asleep.

The thing is, i want him. And if he sees I’m out, again… he will take notice. But if i show i am waiting,  he won’t.

I’m pissed at myself for having to play the game but i will. And when hes back, i will show him a good time, make him feel wanted and leave him.

He just gotta step and he’s not for some reason and the only reason i can think of is he has someone else.

Nothing else really makes sense.

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March 30, 2021