Reaching my ropes end

Last night as I arrived at work the belt tensioner on my vehicle broke. luckily I was literally pulling into work when this happened. I was surprised at the folks who are stepping up to help. Not the ones I expected, although I am very pleasantly surprised. This is just another set back. Not a huge one trying to remain positive, without much luck. I’m depressed and feel exhausted 24/7. I have no one to really talk to. I feel isolated and unwanted. I know that wounds odd after my earlier statement about who stepped up. It’s a glimmer of hope. That glimmer fades quickly though. I feel I’m on an wheel like a mouse in a cage. I’m moving yet going nowhere.

I’m lonely yet loathe the idea of being around people. I want conversation but I’m afraid to make new acquaintances. I have very little trust in anyone.

I am putting my faith in those who have reached out to help me and pray they don’t let me down. I am extremely grateful for their assistance. I don’t take them or the help for granted. I’m making sure they are aware of this. We as human beings need to take more time to realize we all have issues. What may seem minor to me could be a major issue to someone else. I try hard not to judge. I don’t always make it, none of us do. None of us are perfect. I most definitely am not. Far from it. My flaws are many and varied, just like everyone else.

I smile and go on like nothing is wrong, while deep inside me I am frustrated and annoyed at the behavior I see around me. I am praying for the day I can move away from here. Out of this city and state. Las Vegas is a lost cause. DO NOT COME HERE!!! In 15 to 20 years Vegas will be nothing more than a novelty. The casino groups are laying off people left and right. Housing prices are going up while hours and wages are being cut. How exactly do they expect people to pay for these increases? Yes, we have a professional hockey team and soon a professional football team. So what! It doesn’t mean it will generate any more money for the city as a whole. For a select few yes. We have the highest NHL tickets of any team. Idiotic for a new team. regardless of how well their first season went. There isn’t enough water for the valley now let alone in a few years. The crime rate here is skyrocketing but not being reported out of fear of driving away tourists.

I just want a simple life. A job that pays enough to pay my few bills. A roof over my head and a place to lay my head comfortably. Preferably away from city lights and way out in the countryside.

I am thinking seriously of dropping my cell phone service and going with just a home phone. Yes, I know that is shocking to most. I’m sick of how technology has destroyed our lives. it’s hard to have a conversation with someone without them checking their phone every 2 minutes or taking “selfies” every chance they get. I guess I’m not that vane.

Enough ranting for now. I have to go pay some bills and get the parts to fix my vehicle.

Y’all have a great day!!!