Wondering

Wondering why I bother trying to start relationships. All I do is end up being used. I would like to know one day what it feels like to be loved by someone other than family. Even in my marriage I never felt it. Needless to say it didn’t last. I’m sick of the modern world. I am seriously considering shutting my cell phone off and going with just a home phone. Not just to reduce my monthly bills, but to reduce my stress level. I can’t express how I loathe things today. As weird as it sounds I’m not sad or depressed. I ‘m not sure what you would call my feeling. Disappointment, discouragement, disillusioned, BLAH.

If it would be possible and practical I would walk away from everything. just disappear