INTERESTING DISCUSSION-edited
This afternoon I went for lunch with my daughter. She brought up the subject of my hubby and myself. We had a pretty frank discussion on our relationship and she suggested what I should do. She told me I should mention to him that I was jealous that he was spending so much time with this other woman. I told her I would if and when he started to play bridge with her. She said that men like to know that their woman is jealous!
OY! I have to run to the bathroom. More later. Going out for supper. Daughter’s last night!
Right now he is playing golf with her three times a week but it is always in groups. Monday he plays with her,a best friend and another man. On Wednesday he picks her up but she plays with the women and he plays with the men. Friday they play with two other friends.
What threw me off was when he spent all day with her on Monday. That’s when the lightbulbs went off. I never ever thought of my hubby cheating!
I told my daughter I wasn’t sure if I would worry or I would just go with the flow. If it’s meant to be so be it. I have wanted for years to try living alone and being my own person. I always dream of doing what I want. I always dream of living in an apartment and having the whole place as an art/craft place.
Anyhow I told my daughter I would keep her posted. I am thinking of talking to a friend but not comfortable doing it. So like most of the other times in my life I will keep quiet. I don’t know how many times I have been upset and told no one. I guess I worry about what they will think of me. I don’t want people to know I am vulnerable; that I have problems; that I am NOT the person they think I am.
I think your daughter had good advice. I also think it is wise to wait to see if he starts playing bridge.
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Enjoy your last night with your daughter and talk with your hubby before it festers into something that can’t be fixed.
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Hope ya’ll had fun 🙂
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if you do bring up the subject it is safer to speak of it from your own feelings ( using I statements) rather than come across as blaming or accusing anyone, or he will get defensive and it might all blow up in your face. Wait until the time is right. hugs p
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I would bring it up…if you have suspicions you are probably right to be concerned.
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Your last paragraph is the core of everything. It is a way of approving a dishonest life for the sake of appearances. How true is that to you as a person? Confront your hubby, tell him about your jealousy, but also that you do not approve of his conduct and won’t accept it. Do not wait until the situation becomes more complicated. Ask him to take over his washing to this woman so that their new love and appreciation of each other should kick off on the right, balanced foot. She should also make his bed and clean his toilet from the start. You are then not taken advantage of as his housekeeper while he meander into love and romance with someone else without the responsibilities. Do not take nonsense, unless you love to play the victim role and hope to revel in some sympathy. It might work for a short while, but then it’s over for you. You’re not his mother or his unpaid housekeeper, for crying out loud!
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I think that the fact there is another woman involved in your husband going off to play golf is the kicker. It would be fine if he was playing with couples only. I am a jealous person, though. I discuss my feelings with my husband and not spend the rest of the winter wondering what is going on…if anything…any time he’s playing golf with her.
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I would definitely suspect him of being more than friends with this woman. If you would like to give living on your own a go, this could be a good reason! On the other hand, if you ARE feeling jealous, tell him so and also say that you would like to take golf lessons and go golfing with him, etc. Maybe he is only going with her because you don’t like to golf? hugs, Nicky
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talk to your hubby!!! he may not be having a physical affair but it sure sounds like he’s having an emotional affair. when you talk to him, don’t accuse. tell him how his being with her so much makes you feel. let him know it hurts you. he may not understand that. you have the right to feel jealous with your hubby spending what 4 days a week with her? not sure i would tell him i was jealous, justtell him it hurts you that he’s doing this. hopefully, he’ll break it off with her but i’ve found men like to do things like this…. spending time with a woman who make them feel big and important. it’s new, it’s exciting. it’s not physical but emotional highs are very addictive. you have my prayers. take care,
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We all have a vulnerable side to us, it is ok. Talk to him about how you feel. Love,
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could you take up golf?
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Well, if he has three days with her, that leaves four days with you? Is that good math for you? Only you know the answers to those questions that might be bothering you.
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