So my girlfriend just broke up with me a few hours ago. I do love her but with my current situation I can’t even blame her for wanting to leave. I feel really hopeless now, like I am having a full relapse after I had gotten a bit better. I don’t know what to do and what bad things tomorrow holds for me. I’m just tired and I don’t even have the courage to end my misery in as much as I think about it a lot. I’m honestly just tired of living.
Damn I read your last few posts and it looks like you’re in a pretty desperate spot, my friend. I know it seems pointless but you should really call the suicide hotline. I called them once about 7 years ago and it was exactly what I needed. it was just a nice girl about my same age and she just listened to my shit for a while. I think all you have to do is text #988 now
Don’t quit. Call the hotline. I know how dark life seems and it would be easier to step out of it, but don’t. No matter how bad things get or how desperate they feel, at least there are choices you can make to move in another direction. Once you quit, you no longer get to choose. Sometimes we just need to talk to someone to get us to the next day. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time and sometimes it is just one breath at a time. Keep fighting.
Can I tell you something personal?
The guy I love was in the same place as you 6 years ago. He ended up committing himself to the psych ward because he had just gotten broken up with, and like you said he didn’t blame her either. His depression was all consuming and I know that feeling very well. A year later he met me, and I met him. We’ve been together for almost 5 years now. Life gets better, love gets better, and although the depression doesn’t always go away, the happy get stronger. Some of the best days of your life haven’t even happened yet. Please keep going.