Through Surfacing

Love. It has been some days since I last wrote. I have had a crowded spirit. Some days it was difficult to remember to breathe. I believe I forgot on some days. Today, I am far more settled and relaxed than I have been in a long time.

I know the problem. I have been saving one of my meds for my son. I am currently in a difficult financial situation and am choosing to save one of my meds for my son in case we are unable to afford a refill for him when he needs it. I can collapse into a dark mental place without it, even though I never believe that I will the next time that I don’t take it. But fortunately things will be resolved soon, and I have resumed my meds.

I do not have many words for this entry. I am saving them to respond to all of you whom I have missed reading over the past days. I look forward to catching up with each of you. Amen.

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February 4, 2022

It’s so very noble of you to save your meds for your son.  I also did that for my son, before he died.  He was tortured by Life and is now at peace.

It was so very generous of you to offer a shoulder to vent on.  I am having trouble with another member of OD, who is bent on saying rude and snide things about me.  I know better than to respond in kind, but it does bother me that she leaves notes like that on my Friends’ entries.  All I can really do is lead by example and pray that she stops.

Thank you for listening and I hope you are as well as you can be.  G-d bless you.

@novembercirese Yes, I can remember OD dramas from years ago. They feel most painful to me because they occur in a space where I am (and I believe many others are) intending openness and politeness. It is hard, but I agree with your wisdom – leading by example is sometimes the only route left open to us. I am always conflicted on whether I should offer to speak words to another person on behalf of someone that I care about – on one hand, perhaps it is none of my business, but on the other, I am not afraid to say words, and I believe I have learned to be more gentle with them than when I was younger. If you would like any help I can give, consider my help offered.

I will choose to hope we can put these negative thoughts further in the back of our minds for today and continue unburdened into the adventures ahead. Peace to you.

February 4, 2022

@iamnur You are just lovely.  I’m so glad we’re Friends.

February 4, 2022

It can be so tough to have to go without meds. But its so good to hear that have resumed them! ❤