I started teaching freshmen this year and I have a lot to say about it. I remember high school very well. Much more than I remember freshman in college. This wasn’t due to drinking. It was due to sadness, really. It was a cloudy brain time. I remember so much about high school that I can remember exactly how it felt to be the age I am teaching. I didn’t start this diary then, but I had a written diary. I remember thoughts, who I liked and what felt real. Having your whole life ahead of you. These kids are pretty fun and you can have conversations with them. I haven’t been missing out on teaching them because I needed to teach all the grades that I have to get to 9th and I think only now am I ready to teach them with experience, patience and understanding. There’s no way I could have started my career as a freshmen teacher, it took time for me to realize how to talk to this age group in a way that doesn’t make them feel like I’m some dictator that wants to make their life hard. I am able to have control with them, but give them freedoms I couldn’t give other ages.
A lot of that comes with growing up and getting older. It comes with the weird calm that has come over me now that I am not going to be responsible for all my thoughts 24-7 anymore. Cryptic? Not really.
I think I don’t have anything else except that I really don’t know what this school year hods for me. I don’t know what is going to happen to our lives for moving. I don’t know what life holds for me when I turn 33 in May. I guess lots of things are changing and I think it’s going to be hard. I think it’s supposed to be worth all the hard. Nothing is going to be the same and that makes me happy and terrified at the same time. That’s all, really.