Parenting w/ Presence pg 7/ pg 20

Page 7

How will I know reading this book is time well spent?

I will not be as irritated, dismissive, or exhausted by my kids.  I can maintain control of myself and my level of annoyance.  I feel validated and understood.

Page 20 

Wally list difficulties:

-tantrums when asked to do something difficult

-when he calls people rude

-he asks for snacks 10x in a row right after dinner

-his shyness, nervousness

Who does this remind you of?

-The behavior itself doesn’t, but the feeling of annoyance or irritation reminds me of how I felt towards Zach.

How did you cope when exposed to this behavior?

-I would withdraw, shut down, complain to my fam (all about Zach)

-With Wally, I can hesitate.  I don’t feel confident or I feel caught off guard.  I want to avoid his eyes.

How did this person (Zach) respond to my problems/ complaints?

-I really never gave him a chance.  When I did he would take it/ things extremely personally.  He would weaponize guilt.

Does your child’s behavior remind you of something in yourself?

-I probably am annoying in many ways.  I definitely fear being inconvenient or obnoxious.  I don’t, however, feel like Wally’s attributes are necessarily a reflection of my own self-hate.

How did my early caregivers respond to this type of behavior?

-At least with my mom, she would withhold love to modify my behavior.  Tantrums and tear fests got zero attention.  

What quality of mine is being called forth to handle this?

-Patience!!  I am normally and traditionally a super patient person.

What am I being invited to learn?

-Humor in the midst of stress.  Joy in this mess.  That these things that are happening are all SUPPOSED to be happening.  

 

Kate