i’m still standing

its been a while since i have have reached out here… sorry.

the last week has been the worst week of my life…

my wife and i are no longer living together. i tried to make things work, however there are just far to many people in my marriage for me to be a contender.

spent a few days clawing at money enough to get myself a new place, well… used, well… its a dump…

she tried to call a couple of times, i answered once and told her i was far too old to believe that they were “just friends”… “just friends don’t go into detail about the kind of sex they were going to have after she heals and “just friends” don’t send naked pictures to each other.

i know that leaving her in the middle of her recovery makes me lower than a snakes belly in a wheel rut and that i’m gonna burn in hell for doing so…

everything i tried to do for her was a miserable failure and everything that happened to her was all my fault…

now i am too old, fat and ugly to worry about relationships again so no worries about wasting 32 more years on being 6 foot of wrong in butt ugly shoes…

i am content with setting in the dim light of my hovel, watching TV and waiting for something i can never have…