Love bombing

Something I found out about myself after a relationship a little while back is that I have a tendency to love bomb in the beginning of some of my relationships. The ones I’m most excited about. I don’t do it in all of them. Some people do this as a manipulation tactic. Then others do it accidentally because they’re excited. Like, overly excited. My therapist a few years ago told me people with ADHD do it because they hyper fixate and get overly excited,

I definitely am the excited love bomber, for sure. But ever since learning that about me, a paranoid part of my brain worries that there’s some kind of subconscious manipulation motive in there too and that worries me.

So here’s my goofy ass about to go on this date with a guy I’ve been crushing on for years and my brain is getting SO over excited and I’m watching myself SUPER carefully so as not to love bomb. Not that I don’t want the guy to feel good but that I don’t want to come off strong. Or chase him off. Or manipulate him in any way. I also don’t want to be so hesitant to move forward with him that he thinks I’m disinterested and fucks off.

Also need to pause to talk about how fucking hot he is. Jesus lord.

Anyway, I’m excited. And nervous. And overly conscious about love bombing. I know I’m doing the hyper fixating thing, and I’m working hard to stop it by staying pre-occupied. I really am a lifelong work in progress lol