Back here sooner

I want to be original. I have been overwhelmed, though, by the feeling that everything I have to write has already been written, and by much better writers than me.

My muse is shy and diffident; my inspiration is so far away, and that has been underscored by the pandemic and our countries’ management of it.

I want to be surrounded by many shades of green, which is apparent when I go to different places with bags etc. My jacket is bright green, my current overnight bag is olive green, and the backpack in which my laptop and its accessories travel with me is forest green. I just noticed this when I went to stay with my daughter this past week. :O A multitude of greens, none of them matching, which I think makes me look all clashy, but I don’t mind. It’s good to have all kinds of green around me.

I have lost three clothing sizes since learning I had diabetes last April (my counts were very, very bad; things are under much better control now, and I have been off insulin for severa months). I had amassed quite a wardrobe at my previous size; now all of that is (literally) falling off of me. However, I am slow to buy clothing at my current size due to a couple of factors. One is, what if my weight sneaks upward again? The other is financial. Having accumulated quite a wardrobe at my previous size (surrendering to the belief that I would be that size for the rest of my days), I spent tons of money I shouldn’t have on clothing that no longer fits me! However, over time, I will have enough clothing for this size. The tops aren’t really a problem, as they sort of hang and sway, which I rather like. Well, that is another project.

It brings up a lot of questions regarding sizism, though. I am a fat positive person, with fat positive friends. Sometimes I feel like a traitor! Hopefully, my current size won’t bring up any odd, uncomfortable feelings with my dearest local friend. I hope not. She is quite a splendid person, but I guess sizism is allowed to go both ways. Hopefully, our friendship runs deeper than weight. Oh, and my son has never commented on my weight loss! He says he doesn’t see weight, only the person. Yay!

I am blessed to be vaccinated.

I remain an utter slob, and I want to put some order in my life because I think it will help with my mental health and clarity. Maybe my muse will give me the time of day again! After all, I am in touch regularly with my inspiration still. through all these years.

Have the best, most brilliant day possible! Stay safe out there!

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May 5, 2021

being vaccinated is a very rewarding feeling.  thank you for vaccinating!

i love the beauty in all sizes and wish for the best health people have at the size they’re in. i’m glad that insulin injections were short lived! take good care of yourself!

i adore all those greens you mentioned. green is my favorite color, and i’m wearing two very clashing shades myself at the moment.

July 24, 2021

So sorry I missed this entry when you posted and until now. I hope your health continues to improve. I understand the challenges of Diabetes Type II. Love and Light, my friend.