My body longs for meaningful intimacy with a woman. Intimacy that is physical, yes, but also intellectual; emotional; spiritual. It is a level of intimacy I truly believe can only be achieved between another woman and myself; perhaps my desire is so great that it clouds my awareness of and dims my interest in any male intimate partner.

My husband is a good, loyal and loving mate. So then, why isn’t he enough? Because when my sexual self came to life, it was in response to a woman; and while I have no need or desire to find any man other than the one with whom I have made a family and a home, I need and desire a woman in my life.

Isn’t that special? How should I word a personal ad: “Married WF seeking woman for intimate relationship. Must be willing to get together only on Thursday and Friday evenings; respect the feelings of my husband and children; and …”

I am stuck; caught. I acknowledge and am ecstatically joyful over this “aspect of love” in me; but I don’t feel free or able to pursue it, even with my husband’s professed (but limited, of course) support.

Had to dump this today.

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A word of advise, I would overlook your husbands recation to a bi woman and if he approves then talk to him, but I am not to sure, I am Bi myslef but I am much younger and most guys get a kick out of it, but anyways, hope u figure out a solution, btw alot of woman that are bi would probably do the secret thing cause I know that there are many in your situation.

I’m gay, and can certainly appreciate your desire for a woman. However, there was a time when I wanted someone else besides the woman I was/am with. Not the same as you, I know, but the Fates were trying to tell me that there was a problem in our relationship that needed to be fixed. This may not have anything to do with you, but maybe you should dig into that idea and if nothing else, rule it out

There’s nothing wrong with exploring that part of yourself, but you need to remember the commitment you made to your husband, and more importantly, your kids. If you find a woman who is as much in love with your husband and your kids as you are with her, have at it! Your kids aren’t going to understand why mom goes off with a girl (or another guy for that matter). Don’t forget that you’re

teaching your children how to live. If being with a woman is that important to you, decide how important teaching your children monogamy is to you. See my point? Don’t mean to make it harder for you, but it scares me a little how people throw relationships around these days. Sorry, too, if I preached. Thanks for hearing my side, though! (Even if you didn’t want to.) :o) Good luck!

just checking in

hope things work out with you. maybe your husband would understand.

no prob ;), *~*hugs*~*

ryn//i agree. people don’t have a right to tell someone what their diary name should require of them. hate to see the notes i get with my new name. (formally cold and ugly)

I can relate to every word you have written. I found you through random but I think it was meant to be that I read your diary. For the first time in a long time I feel like I am not alone…

I can SO relate—–it’s a very difficult state to be in. best of luck. oli