Been Told No My Whole Life… That Has Changed

All my life, I have always listened to people on how I should be living my life.  My parents, friends, lovers, etc…  10 Years ago, I said enough is enough.  I was in a horrific abusive marriage when I was in my younger 20’s.  I was just done with my schooling at the Technical College, shortly married, and shortly after that, I couldn’t find a job I went to school for that paid decent, I was working Retail at Sam’s Club, and I kept on moving up the chain when I started out as a part-time Cashier and just kept on moving up.  As I got to the Supervisor of all head Cashiers, cashiers, jewelry associates, and gas station associates.  I was very busy crunching numbers, writing a billion 90 day and yearly evaluations, monitoring everybody’s productivity, and I was good at it.  I had a lot of good conversations, and some harsh conversations.  I wanted more, I wanted to be a salaried member of Management.  The Management Team wanted me to move up, I had a lot of potential, and they wanted to see me grow.  My husband at the time was pissed that I was wanting to move on more.  He didn’t want me to be a member of management, he didn’t want me to move forward because he wouldn’t see me as much.  He told me I would not survive, I didn’t know what I was doing, I was going to fail miserably, and I was not smart enough.

Couple years went by, I divorced his ass.  I moved on to be the bigger and better person I was mentally and emotionally, and physically.  I was promoted, I did amazing things, I got to travel with my work and experience things that most people do not get to experience.  I did have a beautiful little girl, and I missed her a lot when I was gone, but when I came back, I always had a beanie baby that I bought from what State I was in.  I got to experience my first airplane flight, bus shuttle, car rental, different places to eat, experience different cultures, met amazing people along the way, and just loved life.  

That was getting to be too much….  Too many hours, less time with my daughter.  I had decided to step down, do what I went to school originally, Design kitchens and Bathrooms spend more time with my daughter, and I am happy.  Now, I am at my peak of what I can do.  I am certified, and I’m at the Max of my pay scale.  I feel I’m underpaid for what I do, nobody in the area pays more than what I’m making and no health benefits.  That’s what is so hard to live in a rural area, you are very limited on what you can do.  Next biggest City near us is Denver, Colorado… That is 6 hours away.

I am now physically training myself to be a police officer.  This is something I always wanted to do since I was a kid.  I wanted to be a cop, I wanted to catch the bad guys, I wanted to help my community, I wanted to assist in community service.  I want to leave an impact.  I start this fall for schooling and I’m so excited!  

When I was a kid, I told my parents I wanted to be a police officer.  My Mom immediately told me no.  I would be working nights, holidays, I’m too small, I would get hurt, and that’s a terrible idea.  The older I got, the more I found out my Mother was worried more than anything for my safety.  

I’m not your normal girl.  I didn’t want to do hair, or have an office job, or be a secretary.  I wanted to get out and get dirty, and hang with the boys and rough-house, belch the loudest, and just be me!  I wanted to go shoot guns with my friends, and go deer hunting.  I loved wood working, but I couldn’t do a project by myself with my parents telling me how it should be done, when I know my way would have been cool.  They were afraid of me failing, and basically sheltered me from everything.  I’m here to tell you, it was very hard for me to become an adult because my parents sheltered me so much.  DON’T SHELTER YOUR CHILDREN! They will struggle in adulthood!

After I graduated High School, my Mom said, “if you get accepted to a college, we will pay for it.”  I decided to go to a Vo-Tech School and got accepted, and my Mom said, “oh, we don’t have any money, you will have to pay for it yourself.”  So, I did.  I been told I couldn’t make it, I was going to struggle and fail, I was told I wasn’t going to graduate, I was told I am going to suffer so hard because I was the only girl in the class of the Custom Cabinet Making Program.

Hearing those words hurt me so bad…. But at the same time, It fueled my soul to prove them wrong.  I did my best with out their help, I worked hard, I worked full time and went to school full time so I can pay for my rent, food, gas, and my school books for the next semester.

When my husband told me going back to school was stupid, that hurt my feelings really bad.  But guess what!  I do what I want, I don’t need his permission to do what I want to do for a life!  

I work two jobs to keep this family afloat since he has a horrific spending problem, I own a cleaning business and clean homes on the side to keep the ball rolling.  My Husband didn’t want me to start a cleaning business… I did it anyways…  What I’m going to school for will be a pay raise, excellent health benefits, excellent retirement, and its a job that I stay physically fit.  I’m excited what my future will hold for me.  I am excited what I am capable of.  I am also scared of bouncing out of my comfort zone.  I’m just done working retail… I have done it all my life, and I need a change and do something I always wanted to do.  

So, if you are reading this, if anybody tells you no… PROVE….THEM….WRONG…  This is YOUR life… not theirs!  Do what you want!

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