I’m having a few days where it just feels like everybody hates me. I look at even the smallest reactions from people and over-analyze them and think they hate me. And I noticed that people I used to be friends with on Facebook have unfriended me. It’s people I’m not even super close to, but I used to be, and I wonder what I did to make them be like, “fuck this bitch. I don’t want to see her face anymore,” and just unfriend me. Too many cat pics? It’s okay to post a shit-ton of ugly baby pics, but I can’t post pics of my cats without pissing people off? I don’t post political or religious stuff. I post funny memes, usually self-deprecating humor. Does that stuff really piss people off that much? And a part of me realizes this is a dramatic reaction, but a part of me is sincerely hurt, and it makes me feel like nobody really likes me. I’ve even sent friend requests to a couple people at work, and they haven’t accepted them. So I’m thinking, “Wow. People really don’t like me, and I’ve been so oblivious to not notice it.” And when I walk in a room, it’s like I can feel people hating me. Maybe I am the problem. Maybe I was the horrible person in my relationship.
I feel like crying today. Crying a lot. Chris is gone now. Haliey got exactly what she wanted. He doesn’t work with me or see me anymore. He can’t talk to me anymore. She won. I lost. I bet she’s so fucking happy about it. It’s because of her that I lost a friend. We were best friends before she came along. Then we weren’t allowed to talk and I lost him. I feel so fucking sad and lonely today. I really just want to cry. I’m sick of life.