A sad look into the face of clinical depression.

Latest Entry

Depressed.

September 18, 2023
I'm feeling really down today.  Probably the most depressed I've felt in a long time.  I just woke up feeling that way.  I feel like I don't have an energy either.  It feels like nobody really gives a shit about me.  Some people have showed me that it's really easy to not think about me. …
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Recent Entries

  • New Tattoo
    September 12, 2023
    So, I went to get another tattoo.  I know.  I've always wanted a pumpkin tattoo, and when I commented that on one of Otha's facebook posts, he said he'd be more than happy to do it.  So, I made an appointment with him.  This is the guy that last time I got a tattoo from…
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  • I Can’t Fix Me.
    August 7, 2023
    I'm really down today.  Probably the saddest I've been in a while.  I've just come to the conclusion that it seems like I care way more about everyone else than they care about me.  I fucking hate it.  And the shit that happened with Troy and Otha... a lot of days, I try to push…
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  • I Finally Drew the Line.
    August 1, 2023
    I haven't written as much lately.  A few things have happened recently.  Again, I apologize for any grammar mistakes.  I am trying to get all my thoughts out as quickly as possible.  My VW Beetle was on its last legs.  There was so much wrong with it.  It was seriously about to break down, I'm&he...
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  • 175
    July 11, 2023
    Down to 175 today.  Goal weight 125.  50 fucking pounds to go.  *SIGH*
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  • 176
    July 10, 2023
    I'm really trying to just focus on my weight loss these next few months.  Like hardcore.  I don't feel like I can ever truly be confident in any way or feel worthy until I feel good about my looks.  Which I know isn't healthy.  But I honestly feel like it is what's holding me back…
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  • Strange.
    July 9, 2023
    I went to go see my friend Lora on the 3rd.  Neither of us feels like celebrating this country because it's a shit-show, but we still wanted to have adult beverages and play Rock Band.  It was a lot of fun.  Something I noticed. . . beforehand she seemed genuinely excited for me to be…
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  • Down.
    June 27, 2023
    I keep thinking back to this thing my ex said to me.  Well, he said his roommate said it to him one night, but after all is said and done, I wonder if the roommate never said it, and he just wanted to make me feel shitty.  He said his roommate said, "If Mallory gains…
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  • I Found the Solution.
    June 16, 2023
    I've figured it out, I think.  Why the people I want don't want me.  Because I'm fat.  Like, I have great chemistry with them, and I think they WANT to like me, but they can't get past my physical appearance.  I'll get more into it in a little bit. I went to this place that…
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  • A Year Ago
    May 27, 2023
    I know I mostly write whenever I'm feeling down, but I just had this thought earlier today... If a year ago today you would have told me that I would not be with douche-copter anymore, down 30 pounds, got 2 new awesome tattoos, have indigo hair, have had scar revision surgery, have tickets to a&h...
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