A sad look into the face of clinical depression.

Latest Entry

Everybody Hates Me.

January 24, 2023
I'm having a few days where it just feels like everybody hates me.  I look at even the smallest reactions from people and over-analyze them and think they hate me.  And I noticed that people I used to be friends with on Facebook have unfriended me.  It's people I'm not even super close to, but&he...
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Recent Entries

  • Popular Monster
    January 11, 2023
    I stumbled across this song about a month ago, and I don't know why I hadn't heard it until recently.  It's called Popular Monster by Falling in Reverse, but I actually heard a cover before the original song.  The cover was done by a group I found on YouTube called "Halocene."  They do a bunch&he...
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  • Analyzing Things
    January 11, 2023
    So, I started reading a book called, "Why Does He Do That?"  It's basically about abusive men and why they do the things they do; mostly narcissists.  I don't like to diagnose people, because it could be likely that term gets over-used.  It's thrown around a lot when people talk about their exes....
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  • Getting Better.
    January 4, 2023
    A lot has happened in the last several weeks.  My last entry I wrote about how I broke up with my narc BF.  The first few weeks were rough.  More bad things kept happening to me, to the point I thought the universe was punishing me in some way.  I started to really question myself…
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  • I Finally Left.
    December 14, 2022
    I finally left him.  Finally had the courage to leave.  It was last Thursday and we had our Secret Santa at work.  I got a bunch of gifts from several co-workers.  When I brought my gifts home later that night, he said, "I don't understand why you keep bringing junk into the apartment.  There's n...
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  • Too Much
    December 11, 2022
    I learned too much info today about too many people.   Too much to type on my phone, but basically my brain feels like it's over stimulated from all the info and human interaction today. I finally did what I needed to do though.   I ended things with N.   More on that later.
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  • I Just Want to Leave.
    December 5, 2022
    I am so fucking sick of being talked to like a fucking idiot.  I'm sick of his rude, condescending comments.  I'm sick of him making me feel stupid when I know for a fact I'm smarter than he is.  I'm sick of him acting like a child and losing his shit over the simplest fucking…
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  • I Hate Him.
    November 28, 2022
    I fucking hate him. So I went to my brother's and mom's for Thanksgiving.  A couple of days before, I told N I was going.  He didn't say anything, he just walked away.  So I was just like, "Okay..."  The next day I came home from work and I told him again, "I guess I'm…
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  • Birthday
    November 16, 2022
    So I turned 37 on Monday.   I took a couple days off.   I'm back at work today and I'm feel really down in the dumps.  I'm 37 and I don't have much to show for it.   I'm not happy.   I'm miserable and depressed 99% of the time.   Is this what life really is?  I just…
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  • Why Can’t I Leave?
    October 27, 2022
    Why can't I just leave?!  I feel miserable every day.  I hate the way he talks to me and makes me feel.  I hate his stupid face and stupid voice.  I'm getting angrier and angrier every single day, and I can't make myself get up and leave!  Why?  What is wrong with me?!!  Because all…
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