What’s The Point?

I’ve been feeling really bad physically.  I was sick last Friday and I thought I had gotten better, but headaches and a persistent cough are lingering.  Also a general feeling of weakness and fatigue.  Part of me wonders if it’s because I was sick, or if it’s physical symptoms of my depression as I start to feel more and more hopeless that life is worth anything.  I just always feel shitty.

Every day I hope something good will break up the monotony.  Blah.  A miracle.  I don’t believe in miracles, but when you’re as low as I feel, you start to hope for the impossible.  36 years of misery on earth, with very little joy is enough to make anyone depressed.

I don’t feel like doing anything.  I can’t concentrate on much.  I have to push my body to keep going.

But what’s the point?