אני קושית יפה/I’m a Cute Black Girl Pg 38

This morning I went to see a doctor…dealing with some post covid reactions…  , , …diarrhea….

So while I was there I told her about how I really need to be over this Pink Eye asap so I can go to Shul for a celebration. She gave me a lil confused look…so I told her I am converting and we are baking cheesecakes this weekend. She found it very interesting that I was converting and she told me I should write a book about my conversion and everything that I am learning and doing.(lil did she know, that I am kinda doing something like that, already)

I left her office with a lil pep in my step as I realized that regardless with what is going on around me and even though I often wish I did all this when I was younger and my mother was still alive and doing this with me…I realized that I was doing a GREAT thing! I was finding me again! As tiring as life gets and even though I often feel as if there are not enough hours in a day or days in a week, I love studying and learning new things.

Since last week we have been learning about the Sacred Texts in Judaism. Now a while ago I was going to make this my essay topic, so you would think I would love how one of the Rabbis was talking about this and kinda telling me where to go to get more information…but I didn’t choose this topic…I chose something else. WHY? Well you would think that because much of the Jewish Life Cycle is repetitive every year…celebrate the same holidays, read the same prayers every year…this would be a straight forward topic. But life is always changing and laws are being adjusted, and the Bible is a huge book go dive into and understand within a few months.

Talking about how things have changed, ook at what has happened in the last few years…

Now in Orthodox Judaism… 

When the sun goes down on Friday night or the Eve of a holiday until the Sun goes down the following day or end of the holiday there is no Work, Electricity, Driving, TV, Internet…you are meant to devote yourself to Hashem and Yourself… 

You couldn’t have a Minyan (quorum) because the country was in lockdown and everyone was stuck at home…synagogues were closed.

The way people dress is different…skirts, head covered…and so much more… 

Kosher Meals! Kosher Homes! Kosher lifestyle!

Never mind just the past 3+ years, life has changed a lot over the last 2000+ years. So rabbis had to get together and write new laws for how Jewish Life was going to be done, particularly now. And here is when I can say I am beyond grateful to be converting in the Progressive Synagogue because they consider having 10 windows open for a zoom service enough to have a Minyan, as supposed to having to have 10 people present in a shul, many orthodox don’t, so not sure how shul services where conducted during lockdown.

I once used to think that being Reformed wasn’t enough…but I see that I am still studying the same scriptures and prayers. I am just now doing it in a community that respects that the world has changed and it has accepted this and interpreted Hashem and his laws in way that allows for this.

But for me what matters more than what the Rabbis say, is knowing that at the end of the day Hashem will look at my life and only he can deem me worthy for him, so for now I guess I will never know if what I am doing is enough, but on some level it feels just right!