Thoughts… UGH!!

Once again I’m sitting here thinking about what life was like 4 years ago, knowing I have to stop if I am ever going to survive. They only one I could talk to to fix it, is the one person who refuses to talk to me and essentially caused all of this.

I really can’t believe I have to live like this and will more than likely die like this. Alone. I know there are men and women out there that would prefer this lifestyle and I get it, but I don’t  I don’t want to be a part time father, an ex-husband and an ex-friend.