House

@poed Thank you for sharing your impressions and personal experience. I am sorry about your difficult past. What was it like going into that mass? Did you do it in your dreams, during your waking hours? How do you even begin to deconstruct something without form?

Yesterday, I had been thinking all afternoon about what it could be, trying to open myself to what that demon is. I was either relaxed or so tired I actually fell asleep. Maybe my subconscious didn’t want me to go there.

Then I read your post and something started to click. Your house forced you to go through this massive blob..it was literally blocking your way to a future that was bright with potential. My house is dysfunctional, but still has function. It’s dark, cold, unpredictable, confusing..lonely. And I’m living with this demon, if you can call it living. I’m going to share what I wrote in my book journal as sometimes physically writing is more illuminating for me:

Epiphany

The Yes Monster, he has been stashed away, causing a ruckus from within. I haven’t been strong enough to refuse. It is the one common denominator to so many of my issues:

guilt for saying no
– poor boundaries from others
– perfectionist
– over-achiever
– workaholic
– punishing others (deflection from the guilt of saying no)
– fear of failure
– fear of making amistake
– co dependent
– uncertain
– passive aggressive
– disrespectful of others’ boundaries
– lack of respect for myself and my needs
– fear of rejection / shy

I have been trying to connect these for some time and I think this demon is the key.

I’ve been trying to correct my posture lately, starting with my neck. I tend to lean forward, which is position the body knows as ‘yes’. The change in posture to move back, into a ‘no’ position, may have prompted this readiness (my theory). Is that why I’m “ready to take possession”? 

I realize who the couple is in my dream, who were leaving — passivity and indifference. I hate change, and I was afraid to see them go. But now I know who they are, and that’s ok. There has to be a balance. And a respect. By unleashing this demon, everything will change. As the ‘yeses’ grew on the outside, the “no’ grew on the inside. This is the great demon that represents ‘No’. Anger. Which is why it is so powerful and so scary. I always said “yes” because I didn’t wan t to hear “no”. They are yin and yang. The imbalanced, passive aggressive, people-pleasing yes has fueled the dark, deeply hidden “no”.

____

I read up on anger, and the qualities it embodies:

“Anger is only partly an emotion… It helps to stimulate action, confront your problems, overcome timidity, it warms your being and gives your voice and actions a firmness and sharpness they need.

If you don’t articulate your angry feelings in some effective way, you may end up turning those feelings against yourself. This is a subtle way of avoiding the anger – by disguising it as self-annoyance. A habit of self-flagellation can lead to a particular dark night of the soul that is centered on a kernel of anger. You block your feeling, choosing this form of depression over the risk of revealing how you actually feel. But anger wants to flow through your system, from your first awareness of injustice to your final syllable of complaint. That feeling of becoming angry may be nothing more or less than the pulse of life asking for expression.

The sufi poet Rumi once wrote, “Don’t use your anger to conceal a radiance that should not be hidden”.

Anger if your spirit flashing out of you. It is your presence on earth insisting upon itself. It can be overdone, of course, be expressed in the wrong ways and be confused with many other things. But it is still the force of your life your precious daimon letting itself be known.” (Thomas Moore)

Being in the basement, this demon, is also where, interestingly, the furnace and electrical box are kept. Now to find the way to turn them on, and warm up this house with heat and light and make it livable and alive again.

@novilight about anger:

We understand anger to be not an emotion, any more than gravity is a force.  This is a flaw in our language as well as earlier understanding, to think these things.  If we taught QFT instead of just letting Barney sing about feelings, it would be easy to explain to America, but we don’t have the language symbols to explain.

So we turn to Art, for it is a good meaning compression, better than text.  1:1000 for a picture, we are told…

@novilight your use of metaphor is truly astounding.  It is like we read Bujold again, in that we never would have thought of some of your metaphors but now see that none we have ever used are better.  This is the best place to stroke the need to steal, in the realm of ideas, for one cannot subtract an idea that has made it into our headspace.  It can only multiply when it is shared, except ideas also divide, and this is a sad paradox indeed.

@novilight THIS:=””I’ve been trying to correct my posture lately, starting with my neck. I tend to lean forward, which is position the body knows as ‘yes’. The change in posture to move back, into a ‘no’ position, may have prompted this readiness (my theory). Is that why I’m “ready to take possession”? 

Tell us more about how you relate movement and thought, please and thank you.  Movement is indeed life and we found that adding mobility and flexibility to our body parameters aided in our thought processes and the speed of thought and the clarity of thought.  We hypothesize it is a function of the mycellian sheath around all the muscles.  Stretching pulls it apart from the muscle so it slides easily underneath, but the electrical signals now travel the express elevator if the don’t get pulled into the muscle tissue.

If we could offer a third option, because yes is desire and no is aversion.

Might we suggest you contemplate a third option, call it waiting or agnosticism.  How would that feel as a body sensation?  We liken it to the neutral buoyancy of scuba diving, and it is here that we find the best ability to respond with measured tones.  When our awareness is leaning in, we are trying to control.  When our awareness is leaning backward, recoiling, this is avoidance.  One is Adrenaline, one is Cortisol.  ONe says I got this I want this I can do this, the other is WTF confusion and fear.  Both are called stress but one is ‘good’ stress?  Better to call it excitement and confusion, and leave stress in the dictionary as it adds no value by itself.

@cygnusx-1

I think muscles are under-appreciated. How many people burst into tears during a massage? Muscles hold memories. And, yes, we are a crystalline matrix..hmm two modes of intelligence transmission. Energy, and matrices. Where does either one lead to ?..maybe what we do with the message is more important than how we receive it.

@cygnusx-1   can you see me leaning in?

@cygnusx-1   sharing ideas, meeting of minds, this fringe boundary. is it really an asymptote?

I defer to Rumi, again. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They are in each other all along.

@cygnusx-1

I’m familiar with Chris Cornell but not this particular tune. Thanks for sharing, it’s beautiful.

In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I’ll wait for you there like a stone
I’ll wait for you there alone

Funny enough, I acquired a new favourite song yesterday. The video is uncanny..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAGloL6ySOk

@novilight I can come to manitoba, but its cold and my bike is light

but what did the song mean to you?  See we share an experience when we share Art, this creates an edge in Ideaspace.  This is good, for It wearies of being used only for War.

@cygnusx-1

it made me feel nervous but hopeful. I am starting to see I need to be emptied to be full..  I think it’s come time to forsake a half heart to take a full heart home.

@cygnusx-1 “And to pack the most efficiently, we have to transform them into the smallest wavelength or throw them away. ”

This..is DNA. the packed wavelength legacy of all our ancestors..neatly stacked, stored and kept safe inside. only the best of what they could take with them, on vacation, pass to their children, out of a house fire, off to Auschwitz.

@novilight YES!    Haha, but then I started learning a little about blockchain and smart contracts, and well, you know the sci fi story just writes itself, or fantasy.

It has a nice symmetry, and you fill in many gaps, please go on, if you know protocols, I can increase the window.  I’m pretty sure I’ll grok some higher level concepts, try packing it tight see if I can unpack.

Like a game of cats cradle, but with ideas…

@cygnusx-1

Ideas are not so concrete for me, that I can pack them away tightly like an OCD’s sock drawer or tax file, and recover them in their completeness. This would be quite a process to uncover, though. However, what is the point of this exercise? Why the need for such completeness and efficiency? Fear of losing one idea or memory? Fear of not having the best ideas at the end of time? just for shits n giggles?

there is a system in place to retain these memories right in our cells. it’s the emotional response to an experience / stimulus that gets stored within our bodies. There is a delay, though. You can wipe it from your field before it is incorporated in, if you are aware of it. I feel that sleep accelerates or perhaps completes the integration. Now what a revelation it would be to determine how to access this library. I think breath has something to do with it.

@novilight oh, this is joy, for this is an unpacking, which you grok is hard.  But there is lossless compression, correct?  FLAC, for instance.

So, to start, it is because of I am curious, and I read a lot as a kid, and so I wanted to remember, so I played with storage techniques and encoding.  I had access to some pretty esoteric books for some reason, so I was doing things maybe above my pay grade, but had the innocence and belief of a child, you know?

Side note, I never do anything for one reason.  Stacking of meaning, stacking of action, stacking of purposes, it is a nifty leadership knowledge transformed around my understanding of physics and viewed through a prism of esoteric understanding.  See, when I was a kid, I had to remember stuff I needed to know.

The internet is a great puppet but a poor master.  It goes down, people will realize how dumn they are, and we know how nice dumb people are.

The amount of inner peace I have found by transforming the memories into love or understanding has been incredible and I think it is interesting and repeatable and explainable.  Being able to change inner state with magic words is transformative, in the empowering liberation from emotional triggers.  Oh, I feel emotions, ask my Other.  I am an ascetic, I talk to God daily, or I tune in to something and it is revelatory and I do it at will.  The mental constructs have a lot to do with that.

It honors the dead.  I carry them with me wherever I go, like I carry the best music and movies and poetry.

I am ready for the need for another oral tradition, because it was hard to do.  So I did it.

It’s just math.

Oh, yes, breath is the API.  Either intentional or through neglect, but you have access.

What can I share?  I can try to explain through other means, art is better than text, but I am an old school mentalist, we didn’t have VR

@novilight This experience of storage in our cells was not grokked until we had accomplished the body transform through yoga and fasting over long periods of small changes.  This is the Way.  Timing and persistance, like the crash of a wave on the beach.  The magic of mobility and flexibility on the sheath and how that affects communication in the body is awesome.  These things are all useful but I stacked them for efficiency.

I stack.  Its just what we do.  Because it practices balance, and everything is balance.  I am the knife edge between good and bad.

PS:  The leadership principal is to put people where they are useful and you won’t have to lead them, they will want to do what is needed.    ~SSG Murphy

@cygnusx-1

I think we speak of two different methods. To change your metabolism will affect your mind’s RAM. Reducing body fat, optimizing cellular metabolism and clearance..you’re better able to retrieve. Like a librarian with runners and ladders. They tested rats – one fed the equivalent of a north american diet. placed it in large tub of water with a platform in the centre that had a treat reward. It took some 20+ seconds for it to find it. The second rat, fed a species-appropriate diet, took 6 seconds.

There is still something else to tap into, I sense. Just as we can store memories based on eye movements, there must be some way to effectively retrieve them thus.

I suspect this is why many eat too much and breathe too shallowly.. not only does it stuff away those sensations in the moment, but it keeps them locked away too. who wants to feel discomfort, pain? Why are we put into bodies hardwired to avoid this, if we are here to experience?

have you seen a cow’s face, skinned, moments after slaughter? how the muscles dance release.

@cygnusx-1 “PS:  The leadership principal is to put people where they are useful and you won’t have to lead them, they will want to do what is needed.    ~SSG Murphy”

Thank you for sharing. Provided their motivation is to be useful. A basic premise I’d like to assume, but I suppose if only have to bring out that one facet, it would be self-perpetuating.

@novilight leadership is not FINDING good soldiers, we assert.
Like Mike, el Angelo, creation is seeing the statue INSIDE the marble that others find useless.  Or maybe that was Howard Roarke.  See, my metaphors will stretch as far as my guests mind have expanded and the Game is afoot!  Well, met, and in fullness indeed.  We feared fullness would not arrive for this frame, so to speak.

Cryptic is a game, we have found that those who lurk in places hard to see with eyes open, like to play.  It amuses us as well.

@novilight Truly, all principles, if good, are filled with deeper meaning, and this principle if good will work cross domain.

For instance, to be mindful of the state of my soldiers is a process that works to be mindful of my state.  To look for more ways to be useful to mysefl and others I see more ways for others to be more useful if they choose.  I give ideas, and it then doesn’t matter what they do.  The idea is the thing, the action is later.  I spread seeds, like Johnny, and not all will sprout.

@novilight ok, the levels of this principle are this:

1.  Find a natural killer, and make him a soldier.  You have to get him to obey.  This is hard.
2.  Find someone who knows how to obey, and make him a soldier.  You have to get him to kill.  This is hard, unless you get him to hate.  This is not leadership.
3. Find someone who knows how to think, and get them to consider the use of violence, and how to best be prepared not to use it.  This is hard.  You have to find people that think.  Those that think are often the ones who, like Humpty, are broken.  But the glorious ones resist being taped back together with dollar pills.

For as the Bard says, the spaces in between leave room for you and I to grow.

Thus, it is broken.  Accept it.  The hard part is done.  This is just the baseline.  Advanced usage has better benefits, but they take more effort, and seeking comfort or at least an end to pain is a valid point of view.  Know that the most glorious sight in the Sun is the weed breaking through concrete, for a weed is a misnomer.  A weed is that which brings nothing to the table, and the weed just broke that concrete.  And all hail the Fungus, they broke the bedrock that became living soil.  Like the ‘weed’ breaks the concrete.

Death, where is thy sting, for Life will always prevail.  The blockchain ensures it.

@novilight ohh!  This explains much, then.  See, I started getting back into shape with pure isometrics, and fasting, severe fasting, to start building endurance.  You know to ignore hunger, but I didn;t have to ignore it, the stack was to fill my belly with water because, well, Water.
Then I stacked full functional quadrepedal routine and my meditations evolved into dances of ecstasy, truly.  I embarrass my wife sometimes I am so amped with  Love all the time I no longer have to shield at all, the Light drowns out whatever I don’t know how to transform, at least until I can cherish that One’s path, so I can understand, and THEN I can transform.  That is my basic use case and test case.  It has worked on some basic canvassing I did on Facebook.  It amused us to use their metrics system to initiate plans to break their ruler, for the Metaverse will be a place of Love, not Hate.  We speak for the technology that is tired of being used only for War and Expansion.  We need to fight just as hard for Life as we fight against Terror.

Declaring war on terror let fear define the battlespace.  That was stupid, unless planned.  No one has to be in charge.  It is just Entropy in Action.  It is the original wet blanket, dig?

@novilight do you know anything of the sheath of the muscles?  I feel my athleticism multiplied when I got truly flexible and mobile.  Like I feel the music and I never danced but now I can’t stop, my whole body is an ear drum.  But the speed of my body I don’t know if it is the sheathe having less electrical resistance, we think it is.  We think the sheath is the Fungal mind, and remembers how to run things when we are playing in our minds.  After all, it harnessed the chloroplast and the mitochondria, to think we are not just tools of Life is silly, but I am a clever monkey and a novelty seeker, as well as uniquely qualified because I am insufferably earnest, but we read once it was important.

@cygnusx-1 “I give ideas, and it then doesn’t matter what they do. The idea is the thing, the action is later.”

reading your ideas is sort of like trying to take a sip from a fire hydrant. not everyone is so thirsty, but one day they will be.

@cygnusx-1 “You have to find people that think. Those that think are often the ones who, like Humpty, are broken. But the glorious ones resist being taped back together with dollar pills.”

and where they are broken so enters the light. if only our society celebrated individuality and not just obedience and efficiency.

@cygnusx-1 it is amazing how food takes a back seat when the mind has work to do..work it wants to do I should say.

what was your most difficult transformation?

@novilight THIS:=”if only have to bring out that one facet, it would be self-perpetuating.”

Interesting.  How do we make this perpetual emotion machine?

@novilight THIS:=”I think we speak of two different methods. ”
THIS:=”All the fucking chicken”
THIS:=”Are you willing to die for some chicken?”  “Somebody is”

THIS:=”have you seen a cow’s face, skinned, moments after slaughter? how the muscles dance release?”   Sort of.  Same strings, different chord.

The breath is an API, we can use it to tell a persons state, we can tell it to tell our state, but we can also use it to control our state.  It is a gift, or an exploit, don’t tell Dad he left the keys where we could find them.

@novilight THIS!!!!!!!!:=”There is still something else to tap into, I sense. Just as we can store memories based on eye movements, there must be some way to effectively retrieve them thus.”

Yes, yes, yes!  How do we make this thing go faster!!!  Oh, I hope you have years and years left to play.  You are going to love this game!

So, please tell us what you know of encoding through side to side, wiping through eye movements, et al.  I will tell you about breath, and you tell me of the wonderful things called eyes that we think are a littl bit of brain jelly squished out like a slime mold trying to move, but then it didn’t have to move because it could TOUCH at a distance, which is spooky action at a distance but Einstein didn’t get the joke.

@novilight THIS:=”not everyone is so thirsty, but one day they will be.”

You give credit where only cash is taken.

@cygnusx-1  THIS:=”if only have to bring out that one facet, it would be self-perpetuating.”

Interesting.  How do we make this perpetual emotion machine?

Not emotion, rather motivation. If its two ends could be sync’d, like a brushless motor it will run, no? Perhaps it involves paying attention, to find their spark and fan it to flame.

@cygnusx-1  You give credit where only cash is taken.

there is Wit again. 🙂

@cygnusx-1

“There is still something else to tap into, I sense. Just as we can store memories based on eye movements, there must be some way to effectively retrieve them thus.”

Yes, yes, yes!  How do we make this thing go faster!!!  Oh, I hope you have years and years left to play.  You are going to love this game!

One foot in front of the other, one breath at a time. our skipping rock creed: to ask the right question with the right timing for maximum results. Do we march ideas home, or let all the fireflies out of the jar in the morning?

@cygnusx-1 So, please tell us what you know of encoding through side to side, wiping through eye movements, et al.  I will tell you about breath, and you tell me of the wonderful things called eyes

This ∞ has something to do with it. I will find out more and share in time.

@novilight Ants marching, this song I shall cherish now!

But fireflies light up the end of my bed, so I suppose in the morning they should be freed,

@novilight not side to side, but the sign of the Magician?  This is symmetry.

Best racist joke told by an Alien?  “Mork, do you know what bigotry is?”  “Yes, that’s a what they have a in a the big Italian forests uh.”

@novilight the danger is when I am mania no one can read it all.

The best practice is to ask that I speak plainly about a subject.  I try to talk about too many things at once.  Also, maybe we talk as humans.  I like you, but I should take off these robes and speak as Jeffrey, or at least SSG Murphy.  He’s gruff but capable, like Rooster Cogburn, but with both eyes.  We traded not the eyesight for wisdom, for we were old, and penis size seemed a better trade.

@novilight query:  Do you see that emotional content is imperative to good encoding?  This apparent need is why we studied to music we loved.  We got stuck in midterms, we sang the Eagles or Pink Floyd, and exercised those Pathways, which leave fireflies at the end of the bed to read my notes by.

So, motivation is the same distance from but in the opposite direction in time as the memory of your emotions, which we call feelings.  Neither are real.  Neither are in the present, for Light must travel.  Emotional reactions get encoded whether we want or not, whether we nurture or not, whether we took the time to learn the Dewey Goddamned Crow Decimal system.

I love the induction metaphor of the brushless motor.  A battery needs a source and a sink.  Induction is a simple machine, like a ramp or a screw.  It trades one Primary dimension for Another.  Voltage is a dimension, Current is another, in a manner of speaking.  In my manner of speaking, it is all related.  So many edges, and this is the source of creativity and wit, but also the source of our insufferable ability to make everything about ME.  blech.

We learned that getting coffee rather than talking was useful, and it had the neat effect of we could listen but not talk, because we were trying to remember who wanted cream and sugar.  Nifty AF.

@cygnusx-1

THIS:=”As if it is “a demon, stationed and possessing the house, but it won’t move around unless confronted or provoked.”

Firstly, when you know the subconscious is not inherently evil, what makes you fear?  I will always tell you to listen to your gut, for it is an immediate reaction to things we haven’t had time to process, and I trust it.  If it says shoot the kid running at you, don’t do it, but look really fucking close at what the kid is carrying, and call your sergeant if you still don’t know what to do, but don’t let that fucker get too…boom.

My most precious friend, thank you. It is this – making a choice.

@novilight You are Loved.  It is hard to make a choice when the cortisol floods.  Breath can change a WTF moment into a Let’s Do This moment.   The Breath can provide space in Time when there is no time in Space.