Dreams of a Vacation. Life Schedule.

I want a vacation.  Where? I have no idea. But to literally unplug, recenter, breathe, enjoy life. A vacation to simply find myself.

How will I make that happen? I have no freaking clue. None. Work even more? That seems counter productive. Hard core.

I wish my larger expenses would just magically pay themselves off. Poof. Go away. Yeah. Right.

Really, I need to mentally decide what said vacation would look like. Then set up a budget specifically for that. I just hate “wasting” money or “wasting” vacation hours. I know it’s needed and not really a waste but then I think of the things I could do with said money. Or what if there’s an emergency and I need those vacation days. Maybe I need to figure out how I can vacation at home without being on vacation. I have no idea.

I map out money constantly in my head. I struggle to map it out towards anything relaxing or for me. Yeah, some lashes or a massage. But the majority goes into bills, future bills, kids, future kid expenses. I need to decide on a legit savings cap and then plan the moment I hit that amount I can book XYZ trip.

First tho – Name change. Because I’m not getting a passport with this name. After name change = passport. Then maybe an all inclusive vacation go somewhere fabulous. (But then I think all I want to do on said vacation is sleep – Hell, I can do that at home. Why spend the money?) One step at a time – name change.

I managed to get some cleaning done today. It’s just so damn overwhelming. How does this house get dirty so easily? How did I keep it clean before? Wellllll, I thought about this – Before I had ONE job and lived with someone who lost their shit if I didn’t clean perfectly. Thus, I was always cleaning like my life depended on it. It did. Literally. Now I work all the time. I’m freaking exhausted. And I have so much random shit. Summer goals – get rid of the shit and get this place in order. Completely.

Now that coaching is over I figure I can set a daily goal. 2 hours of cleaning. Then nothing. Maybe 5 hours a day on the weekends. That’s 20 hours of cleaning a week – Yeah, who needs to clean for 20 hours? Ummmm, me. To breathe. To feel like I have control. 15 hours a week might be enough. We will see. I’d say I did 2 hours tonight easily. Then work 60 hours a week. Sleep 8+ hours a night. We’re at 136 hours of scheduled life. That leaves…. 32 free hours. That seems like plenty. 2 hours a week day and 11 hours each weekend day. More than plenty. Granted those 32 hours will include graduation banquets, parties, etc. this month. A schedule makes me happy tho. Very happy.

I may actually keep track this week and see where in the world all my time goes. (Realizing I’ll have to clean 3 hours my weekdays off as there is no way I have time to clean the nights I work and get off at 10.  Ugh.)

That’s it. I better go sleep before I’m out of my 8 hours.

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