Night 1 of bartending done.

Tired. So tired. Yet, I’m trying to force myself to stay awake to stay on a fairly normal sleep schedule. Especially for the weeks I only work Saturday nights.

My first night returning to bartending – I’m rusty. I don’t like drunks when I’m sober. There’s a reason I never stay until close. People drink a lot of f’ing alcohol. Ha. Those are my major takeaways.

The night went fine. My only complaint is I don’t remember all the shot & mixed recipes. And we seem to now live in a society with 21 year olds who Pinterest crazy shit. You Pinterest it – you keep the recipe up. Fair enough. Also, if you’re going to puke please make it to the toilet. Slipping the bartender your number isn’t going to get you a text. Nor is showing back up when she doesn’t text. Being a douche to your wife doesn’t make you cool. Bar fights are totally overrated. And 21 year old former cheerleaders remember all their dances come midnight and want to try them out.

Best bar fight – Dude fighting with his wife being a douche as it was her birthday party. He makes it outside and I can hear “you want to punch me bro”. Wtf. So I head outside to tell them all to move on along with an nice male customer. Get outside to a scream and want to fight dude is literally flat on the sidewalk. Out cold. What in the fuck. Come to find out – he went to take a swing, fell, hit his head. Lights out. My god. Checking breathing and pulse. All was good there. Trying to get drunk people to back off and use any first aid skills is impossible. Dude slowly wakes up. Refuses ambulance and is still wasted. Home for him. Extreme caution to watch his head closely. Wife is nowhere to be found at this point. She’d already stormed off pissed. Another random fact – So many people lose their wives. Where is she? Dude, I don’t babysit but she stormed out quite awhile ago buddy. This was a regular conversation the last hour.

In the end – The nice customer was like – I swear this shit doesn’t happen every weekend but what a way to bring in your first night. Umm, yeah dude, fun times.

Money. Okay, the money will be hard to walk away from. Tips were far more amazing than I remember them. Especially for a slow night. There was a birthday party in the back. But it wasn’t too crazy (okay they were crazy, but not inside busy). We had a total of 3 bartenders due to the back birthday. Splitting tips 3 ways I still made $258. Next week I’ll train again and there will be 2 bartenders total and no back party so we’ll see what that nights like. But even $250 once a week will get me the $1,000 a month. (And if there wouldn’t have been 3 of us it would have been over $700. The Saturday after Thanksgiving I’ll have Saturdays alllll alone.) I’d thought that total including waitressing was a good guess for the month. So assuming any slow nights between the two and I should be up to $1,500-$2,000 a month for tips. I’m still hoping by December 1st I can have an accurate average and come up with a decent budget and game plan.

Best part? Not coming home to a crazy husband screaming that I was a whore. Because that’s what I got the last time I bartended. Every single night. He was drunk, waiting up and ready to call me every name in the book. Because bartending means your obviously a whore, shaking your ass for tips. Negative Captain. I make money without any flirting. Actually, I think drunks like attitudes more AND free therapy sessions. (Post Covid Divorces must be high. I don’t remember this many “let’s talk about my divorce” sessions 6 years ago.

Overall, all is well there. And tonight I want to order take out and put up the Christmas Tree. For real.

And an hour after I posted on SnapChat I was going to go bartend I got a request from the ex’s drug dealer. Seriously. I still have no doubts someone is feeding him information. He somehow knew. And the two of them were together and he wanted to see as he’s fully blocked. Fucking dumbass. No, I’m not accepting her. Do I look stupid? I’m hoping to sign this week. Really hoping to sign. Soon.

With that, I better have another cup of coffee and come up with a game plan for the day.

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November 14, 2021

Sounds like a plan Stan. Bartending is (for the most part) a cool job. 🙂 You put up the tree in November??? We usually put ours up sometimes in December.

November 14, 2021

Way too funny.  I haven’t been in a bar in decades.  But after reading your post, it all came back to me in a “I’m definitely going to have a hangover tomorrow morning” kind of way.