• Yesterday I made a great potato and ham soup. The only problem is that, like chillie, I don’t seem to be able to make a small amount! But it does seem to be something that like stew, tastes better the second day {Yes, purely for the purpose of checking since this was the first time I had made this potato and ham soup, I DID have a small bowl for breakfast!}
  • Another sign that I am physically getting stronger was that yesterday I cleaned the whole kitchen including the floor{ which is usually left for "another day"} in one session. And, since I knocked over a small container of the grains I usually put in bread, I had to use the Dyson to get them up from the floor. Usually I use a small vacuum which runs on a battery and works really well on a kitchen floor.The Dyson tends to intimidate me when I have to do anything beyond basic carpet cleaning! But I figured out how to put the "suck-it-all-up wand away after using it!
  • This is our third day of rain. No sun. The SAD light is in the bedroom and I haven’t had ti use it yet but it is going to be used today and every day we continue to be sunless.
  • I got a Christmas card from a friend in the book group back in Vermont. Yet she didn’t answer my email telling her what I have been going through when I was so upset over what might yet may be yet a third cancer. It seems she is not as good a friend as I thought she was. I am aware that there are people who don’t know what to say or who might be scared to comment on what I wrote, but, believe me, she is not like that. Except, apparently, to me. Oh, well, it is what it is and the ball is in her court now. {Two cliches in one sentence–wow!}
  • Nothing as yet from the colorectal surgeon.
  • Today I will definitely get bags to the dumpster and probably get out to buy a few groceries.

An emotion is only an emotion.

It is just a small part of your whole being.

You are much more than your emotion.

An emotion comes, stays for a while, and goes away, just like a storm.

If you are aware of that, you won’t be afraid of your emotions.


~Thich Nhat Hanh


If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. — Marcus Aurelius







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December 10, 2013

I never know what to say to people who are in your situation, either. I guess a simple “thinking of you” card would be better than nothing.

December 10, 2013

before i went thru raymond and him having cancer, i didn’t know how to respond to someone who had it. cancer is so very scary… both to have and to know someone who has it. glad to hear you are feeling stronger. we’ve been without sunshine for a few days, too. i’m getting very restless. i want sunshine again. take care,

We’re theoretically (if the refrigerator repair guy ever finishes) headed for the grocery store after being iced in for the last five days. My larder is looking pretty bare. At least I’ve used everything from the freezer. It was due a turnover. Boy am I tired of cooking. I intend to ask for fast food for lunch – Cici’s pizza, probably, as it’s next to the grocery store.

December 10, 2013

People who fail to say Anything, simply because they aren’t sure what to say need to just buck up and say something, darn it. ANYTHING. It’s a mark of maturity to buck up to new situations and give them one’s best shot! Mmmm…..potato and ham soup is something I’ve only made a few times, but you have me thinking I need to make it again! hugs, Nicky

December 10, 2013

I seldom know what to say in person, except, “What can I do to help?” In writing, I like to say that I’m holding you warmly in my thoughts. Some just can’t seem to see past their own challenges. You take care.

December 11, 2013

I came to see how you are doing and am very impressed. I’d encourage you to to believe that gray tabby is correct; people care but don’t know how to express their careing thoughts. Last night a neighbor brought her new grandson to visit us, to cheer us up, she said. But never a mention of her caring or interest in how we were doing. I just took that in stride, myself, given that I’d been toldby others who tried to express their concern things that really jolted me: like…just remember loss happens to everyone. What!?! I’m at least 30 years older than she is and I certainly know that–BUT SHE MEANT WELL. What she doesn’t know is that when it happens the most important person in your life for 54 years–it happens to the only person who matters to you at the moment and he/she is ALL PEOPLE. For the moment.