I’m back for my once a month entry, and this time out I’m going to tackle all the them of the week questions I haven’t answered yet. I’m going to tackle them like a survey and get them all over with right here and right now… so here we go!
36. What is something someone else has, that you envy?
I try not to focus on what I don’t have, but it’s hard not to be a little envious when I see couples who enjoy each other’s company and I’m here being the lone wolf. Despite my few attempts to change that, I decided a lot time ago not to settle just to not be alone. I’d rather go solo rather than go into another toxic marriage. Never again. So, while I’m not fond of it… I understand this is a situation of my own making and own it.
37. Write a thank you note to someone in your life.
I’d like to thank the people in my life who took the time to tell me that I was capable of doing well and being successful if I was willing to do the work and put my mind into it. I had some people in my past who harshly predicted that I’d never amount to anything, told me that I’d never graduate high school and spend most of my life behind bars. Today I’m 46, and not only do I have a high school diploma, but I also have a BA in English literature. I’ve never spent a single day behind any bars. Ever. It’s nice to know the people that believed in me were right, and I thank them for their support.
38. If you had an extra hour in your day, what would you do with it?
Probably procrastinating so no different than what I’m doing now.
39. What makes you unique?
I write stories, poetry and novels that engage people and move them. These words I composed will continue to do so long after I’ve parted this mortal coil. That’s pretty cool, eh?
40. What life challenge turned out to be a gift in disguise?
I got Mono when I was 21, and it royally sucked. It kicked my ass six ways and took no prisoners. I was bedridden for almost two months and at one point couldn’t eat solids for the second month. I lost 35 lbs during that illness. It prepared me for the crap and hell that I currently endure with AS.
41. What was the last scary decision you made?
The scariest decision I ever made was to move out and leave love behind. I was afraid that people would forget about me and never want to see me again. That I wouldn’t be missed.
42. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
My favorite holiday is one that I can use resting and relaxing. Just give me a comfy chair and somewhere to lay down and just chill.
43. What are your goals for the next year?
The same it’s been every year; to write and try to finish a few projects and post them online. Writing a few comic books and buying cool stuff for the kids.
44. When you’re not feeling well, what do you do for comfort?
I try to watch television while cocooned up in a blanket, and just relax. Drinking lots of tea, and lots of warm soup always does the trick no matter what illness I have. Steaming hot showers also helps keep the lungs clear, and prevents things from getting worse. I also like to take more vitamins when not well too.
45. Tell us about the most joyful moment of your life, that’s not a major life milestone.
Meeting my daughter for the first time was a very joyful moment. I wasn’t able to be present for her birth, but holding her for the first time was still a very joyful moment and one I look back on fondly as she continues to grow like a weed.
46. How would you change your life, if you didn’t have commitments to your job, your family, or your current life?
I’m don’t know… maybe become a professional poker player?
47. What would you put in a “Who am I” folder?
I describe myself on social media as a “writer, poet, outspoken atheist and total shit disturber”. I happen to think that fits, and no one has disagreed so far.
48. What’s your worst DIY fail?
I’ve been smart enough to never attempt any DIY projects. Nope, I’d rather pay someone else to do the job right the first time. I know my limitations and respect them.
49. What do you give yourself permission not to know?
There are a lot of things I don’t know, and there isn’t enough time to learn them all. We have to pick and choose because our time is finite. I think I’ve done well so far…
50. Based on your experience with your own parents, what parenting advice would you give someone else?
Unless the kid does something extreme like arson or murder, it’s your job as the parent to be the mature adult and forgive. Nothing, especially stupid pride, is worth not seeing your kids over petty crap. We’re not going to be here forever, so enjoy your kids while you can. When they’re older and their kids cause crap, it will be their turn to be mature. Right now it will be yours first.
51. Is there somebody in your life that puts you totally at ease, a person who you are always comfortable with? Why does that person make you feel that way?
At the moment there is not. When I find that person, I will let you know.
52. Tell us about something in you life you are putting off doing and why.
I’m a professional procrastinator, I’m putting off a ton of stuff at the same time. Too many to list here.
53. Write down everything happening around you at this moment.
I’m writing at the computer, there’s a ballgame on in the background, and I’m in pain. This is basically how each day plays out right about now.
54. Tell us about a positive influence you had in somebody else’s life.
There is one kid who wouldn’t be here today if I didn’t help him out. I never talked to him since that event occurred and no one knows that it even happened. I don’t need to be thanked either, as one should never be thanked for doing what is right. I also don’t think it was much trouble, but I was happy to be there when I was needed.
55. What is a small thing that you either made or bought, that brings you a lot of happiness.
I thing I made and bought that I really like is this diary. I know it’s been neglected at lot lately, but I hope that one day many moons after I’ve left this mortal coil, someone else will read it and be inspired… maybe even one of my kids when they’re older. This diary will be my way to reach out and speak to them from beyond the grave. I hope they are doing well when that day comes. I hope they realize how proud I was of them and still am.
56. How good are you at forgiveness? When was the last time you had to forgive someone?
I’m not very good at it. I have a hard time letting things go. Yet the people who I have the easiest time forgiving are my kids. I don’t take what they do personally, and let things slide way more than I’d let anyone else get away with. I wish someone would do the same for me but I’m not holding my breath anytime soon.
57. Tell us about something you lost or gave away that can never be replaced.
The ability to trust others. Someone I cared about took my heart and broke into a million pieces. I’ve had a hard time trying to move on and enter new relationships because of it. I haven’t been the same man since and I sometimes worry I never will be.
58. What is one reality you need to come to peace with? Why?
To connect to the previous answer, I need to acknowledge that I have to eventually learn to trust again. I’ve spoken to therapist, attended group sessions and tried to talk about it with people who have experienced and know what I’ve been through. I’ve been unpacking my shit for over a decade and I still have much to unpack. Hopefully one day this struggle will end, but I’m not holding my breath and neither should you.
59. If you could invent something to make your life easier or happier, what would it be?
I would love to invent a smoke alarm that could tell the difference between an actual fire and burnt toast.
60. Would you ever move? Or would you never move?
I’ve moved so much during my life that the event itself doesn’t bother me. Truth is I’ve become quite comfortable with where I am right now and am not sure what the future holds. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
61. What is one thought that has been getting the best of you lately? How has it been influencing your behavior?
I’ve been thinking about time, and how much I have left. I wonder how old Kat will be when I pass on and if I’ll be able to see a lot of her milestones or miss out. It is influencing my eating habits as I’ve been trying to do better, but am unsure what difference it might be making.
62. If someone else described you, what do you think they would say?
That answer would vary depending on who you asked. Some people would tell you that I’m kind, sweet and would do anything for a friend. Others will tell you that I’m a cold hearted bastard and a complete asshole. The truth is they’re both right. I don’t treat everyone the same, I deal with them accordingly and how they deserve to be handled.
63. What is something you succeeded at this year?
About several months ago, I defeated the delta variant. Best part was I never needed to be hospitalized for it and managed to get over it on my own. Thankfully I managed to survive and now have natural immunity to protect me in the future. I’m rather proud of that success, something many people haven’t manage to accomplish and perished.
64. What is your favorite part of the holiday season?
My favorite part is spending more time with the ones I love, especially my kids.
65. If you could effect one change in your life, your culture, or your country in the coming year, what would it be? How would you go about making it happen?
I’m not sure I’d want to change anything, and risk missing out on time with the little babies that I love so much…
66. What is one risk you believe is worth taking in the months ahead?
I’ve been very hesitant to take risks the last few years. The stroke has made me very cautious, and I’ve been rather easy going rather than taking unnecessary risks. I think this attitude has also served me well during the pandemic.
67. Make a list of the five things you hold most dear, and tell us about them.
1. My amazing kids. They make the darkest days bright again without any effort.
2. My cats… life would be truly lonesome without their company.
3. My work. Life as I know it would be a lot more boring and painful without it.
4. My brothers. I don’t see them very much, but it’s better than having none.
5. My country. It’s not perfect, but I am very fortunate to be here in Canada.
68. What was the most painful thing you ever went through? What did you learn from it?
When I fractured my knee during a wrestling match. The lesson I learned that day was to keep your head in the game and to always mind your surroundings.
69. Tell us about one thing you could do to bring happiness into another person’s life. Is there a reason you are not doing it?
I could be more outgoing and put more effort into my works. Make good of the time I have left rather than procrastinating. I’m trying but am not doing as well as I could.
70. What has being under quarantine changed about how you see yourself or other people?
I learned during the pandemic how gullible many people actually are. I learned very quickly what people are true skeptics and the pretenders that are fucking sheep. Many people claim they would never be like the Germans who were duped in the 30’s but their actions of the last two years proved them wrong. They were compliant little lemmings when told to jump by their fucking governments. I lost a lot of respect for a lot of people I used to admire a great deal…
71. What do you miss from the time before social distancing?
Concerts. For the last several years leading up to the pandemic, I used to attended anywhere between two to seven concerts a year. The last concert I saw was in September of 2019 when I hit Bud Stage in Toronto to see Rascal Flatts. I’m already making plans to see at least two this summer, maybe three if I can save up enough funds.
72. Tell us about four jobs you have had, with one being fake.
Okay here are the four jobs:
1. Emergency Off Shore Medical Dispatch
2. Baseball Umpire
4. English Teacher
Take your best guess and scroll down to see the answer.
which one is the fake job?
The Paralegal is fake. Despite my interest in law, I never worked as a paralegal.
1. I used to work for a call center that did overflow for companies, but one of our clients was to dispatch medical emergencies offshore. During my time there, I dispatched two choppers to evacuate people hurt out on the seas.
2. I worked as a baseball umpire for five years before attending university. I was a strict ump, but fair and consistent. I had more compliments than I had complaints.
4. I worked as an English teacher in South Korea for a year after I graduated from University. It was a very educational experience to travel to that part of the world.