Hi guys. Long story short.

First of all, I’m so excited that I joined this lovely community. I know that here are people from different reasons and that all of us have their personal motives and approach for sharing things. For me, the reason to open myself to all of the interested individuals who would like to be my friends is getting out of my comfort zone, completely.

Secondly, I’m so sorry for my weird English. In one of my future stories, I will probably have an opportunity to share with you why I am so unconfident about my writing skills in English. It’s not my native tongue but you will also realize that through my writing style which is kind of messy.

But I hope that nevertheless, you will get the main point in my posts.

I’m a 31-years old Croatian girl with such, at the same time, clique and sad life story. But I’m also a 31-years old Croatian girl that decided more than ever completely turn over her life and become the best version of herself.

Because this is something that I wishfully promised myself on my 30th birthday and after that my whole life started to change.

My life partner broke up with me last Spring, one morning on a sunny Saturday last with the explanation that he just not into me anymore. After 10 years. Just like that. Like we are overnight some kind of strangers. And most hurtfully, he mentioned that he doesn’t love me anymore.

You can feel my pain to experience something like that during a pandemic and home lockdown. Everything changed in my life in just one sentence. In one second. And I never felt so lost after that.

Other things also started to change. My sister moved with my nephew in another country and soon I had to move from the apartment that I loved to her apartment and that period was very stressful because I had to confront my ex-partner to conclude things in our old apartment. Also, winter came and the situation with coronavirus was getting worst and few days before New Year we had series of earthquakes in my town and it was very terrifying and traumatic to experience that. Alone.

You can say that I had a very tough 2020. (Who didn’t, though). I never felt more lonely and lost in my life. I had a problem with anxiety and depression. There were days when I felt pain so much and thought that I will die.

But I knew that all of that rollercoaster of emotions I was going through are part of the process and healing.
In two months it will be one year after everything in my life started to change. And even it was a hard and most painful period in my life, I’m good.

I’m really fine.

But I’m not completely myself. Actually, I’m just getting started to see and realize who am I and who I want to become. Because I still don’t know.

There is so much work to do to became who I want to be, but before that, I need to change all my old patterns of behaves and habits. And one of that includes getting out of my comfort zone.

So here I am. To share my thoughts and feelings in this process with you. To find new friends, new souls who maybe understand me. Or can support me.

I would like to hear if someone here gets through something like this and how do you feel now? Do you have some advice to share with me?

With love, P.