07/03/2012

Been trying to think of something to write, but the words have gotten stuck in a loop in my head, all focused on one topic…

My brother is going to be a father.

My father told me about this on May 17th. July 3rd my brother finally said something to me. HER entire family knows, all of her friends know – she has bragged about it on facebook. And my brother waits until today to tell me officially. He thought I didn’t know. The only other person he told was my mother, who told my father. No one else knows. I think my mother told her older brother today. Hell, my brother hasn’t even told his best friends – I talk to them more than he does now, well ever since SHE became a part of his life.

If I hadn’t already known I would not have reacted well to his phone call to me today. I pick up the phone to “Hey Aunty ******! How does that sound?” – With all he has put me through, with ignoring every phone call and message from me since my birthday in February, that would have been a shitty way to find out. I almost responded with “I am already an Aunt.”

His girlfriend of 7 years keeps calling their unborn child a bastard to all of her friends and family – even said it to my mother. If I hear her say it, I will slap her across the face. I suppose I am over educate since I know the history of the word and what it originally meant – an illegitimate child that was not recognized as a legal heir under the law of the church wither due to the station of the wife if the man had more than one; if the woman was a 2nd wife or lower or was not a legal wife the child was considered a “bastard.” It has nothing to do with whether or not the parents were married, but was based solely on the legal rights of inheritance. – So the only way THIS child could be a bastard would be if it were not my brother’s…. – See, too over educated for my own sanity here.

I am convinced she got pregnant and lied to my brother about it because she was either 1) afraid he might actually finally leave her crazy shit, or 2) she is trying to force him to marry her. She actually told him that her birth control was making her sick. It is not what is making you sick if you stopped taking it.

My mother broke down when she realized I was right about everything else about this girl, about her neurotic behavior, about her family, about her food “allergies” – which by the way she does not have anymore at all, that stopped about a month BEFORE she got pregnant.

Two weeks ago she freaked out on my mother because my mom wanted to talk to her, to make sure she was actually getting Pre-natal care and was doing okay. Why did she freak out? Because my mother wanted to sit down in their house since it was hot outside and talk to them, and SHE didn’t want my mother in the house. So what does she do? She locked herself in the bathroom and screamed at my brother and mother for awhile apparently. In her freak out she said she does not trust my brother, she thinks he is a liar. She has posted as much repeatedly on facebook. My mother also found out they had been lying – At the end of May they told her she was 2 months pregnant. In her freak out, she told my mother she was 5 months pregnant. In about a month went from 2 months to 5 months – I am not THAT bad a math. I found out that yes, she has known how far along she was since end of April.

She brings everything back to what she wants – and if she doesn’t get it she throws a damn tantrum. She is 24 years old and I have seen her throw tantrums like my best friend’s little girl who just turned 5.

According to her, my brother is a liar and cannot be trustes because he does not always do what she wants when she “orders him to.” Her words to my mother….

They just found out today they are going to have a little girl.

My brother is going to be a father, but his girl friend is just going to give birth. I do not believe she is capable of being a mother. She cares about no one but herself and she is using the pregnancy to get as many people to focus on her as possible.

They stopped by today to show me sonogram pictures. I was asking about baby things, and listening to her tone of voice she was pissed I was not talking about HER. Every comment she made was about her, nothing about the child other than making jokes about how a parasite was feeding on her – yeah, heard jokes like that before, but not with a tone of meanness.

She also didn’t like it when I made a comment about how I knew how to read sonograms because I’ve had students share pictures with me when they FIRST found out they were pregnant, so I am more used to looking at first trimester sonograms. I know that was bitchy but I used a very nice tone of voice; I was getting pissed at the little girl talking down to me when I was going through the photos with my brother.

My mother is trying. But my father wants nothing to do with her or the baby. “It” will never be welcomed in his home. He actually asked my mother about abortion when she told him and believed my brother’s girlfriend waited to say anything until it was too late for that option.

I am watching my family fall apart. I don’t know these people. I do not recognized these behaviors, this actions – I do not understand this isolation or hatred. The only common denominator I can find is it all goes back to her and how she has treated my family ever since she first started dating my brother.

She never wanted to be a part of my brother’s family – she wants him to cut all ties and belong to her.

And they are now bringing a child into this bullshit?

I believe my brother will be a good father, but I am afraid he is going to be doing this all on his own.