so I’m having an existential crisis right now you know the one you get before birthdays. It gets ugly af. I’m turning 20 and i stilll havent figured out my favourite colour which people figure out at kindergarten. Its tough because my life seems to be revolving around me waking up late, having tons of junk (I mean chips, chocolates ) even though i know im mentally torturing myself about. I still havent learned to love myself, and its reallllllyy sad. I watched an Instagram post that said name 20 things you love, so i made a list and wrote mannny manny stuff in it which mostly consisted of chocolates, or movies and celebrities and my dog ranked first. but then i when i watched the video asit went on it said at the end ” How long would it take u to write yourself or any of your body parts?” I literally cried after that. I know self love doesnt happen overnight and that it happens gradually. But living in a society that still has a fixed definition of what beauty should look like just discourages me to really be myself and its sad becuase ive missed out on so much of my high scool life and getting to know people. Ive always made myself dissapear in the backgournd and just not look at myself in the mirror for too long. its sad that i dont have people to talk about it to. becuase my family was the first to make fun of me. so i hope someone reading this would listen if no just read. so i pray that this new decade for me ill discover self love and confidence beacause i know how much i can offer to the world.