WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE
As I was heading to the train station to leave town for a work assignment, I was one of the most eye-opening conversations with a Lyft driver.
Traffic was bad so he had plenty of time to overshare, but to also just share.
So he was talking about his daughter who had ended up with someone who she became addicted to heroin with. And then how after leaving him she met someone else while in a half-way house and ran off with him and ended up pregnant.
Well, he’s talking about how this guy treats his daughter. He talks down to her. Does not value her and lets everyone else treat her badly. He breaks up with her constantly and then says he’ll only stay with her if she agrees to be in an open relationship so he can be with other people.
Then she, with their daughter, move with him to where his family is from and then his parents keep talking down to her, telling her to just go away because she’s just going to ruin his life and that her husband now does nothing. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t stand up for her. He doesn’t comfort her. He just let’s them walk all over her.
And then he says that he tells her all of the time that someone who will not defend you is not someone you should be with.
I nearly burst into tears because this man described my over two-decade relationship/marriage.
What goes on in someone’s head when they let others tear apart their partners?
Why did I marry someone who let their friends treat me like shit to their face and said NOTHING?
Why did I marry someone who let his mother try to set him up with other people while we were still supposedly engaged?
Why did I get down on hands and knees and beg him to not send me away when I got upset that his mother was doing this?
Why did I marry someone who let his sister say to my face, “Why can’t you just go away so that we can be a family like we were before you came around?”
Why did I marry someone who only decided to not send me away when he told me he would only stay with me if he was allowed to sleep with other people?
Why did I marry someone who would come home during the day and tell me about someone they saw on public transit that they dreamt of sleeping with?
Why did I stay with a man who told most of his friends we only got married so I could move around with him while he was in the military?
Why did I stay with someone who let a friend of theirs sit in front of us both and say “You know you could get so many threesomes if you just dropped that.” (pointing to me and then my husband laughed with him)
WHY DID I ACCEPT THIS?
Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date (or marry)?
WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE