All of the Writing for Damien Legend, “Words from a Fallen Angel” Were done as Journal entries about the Character I Created in Second Life so many years ago. Here is more should you wish to read.
So lets move on shall we, on my second night around them, at least I think it was my second night, (as you can see spending time around them has severely messed with my ability to tell time) my mouth almost got me into more trouble than I could have handled. When I showed up I ran into Fangs and Kalia they were hanging out with another girl.
Everything started off that night just fine, the other girl put on a fireworks show which was really nice but I was distracted by Kalia (Mmmmmmm, she is nice) I think she caught me staring at her, I’m not sure though, as I said she does things to my mind that leaves me wondering what really happened. A little later Nigel showed up and that is when things started to get really exciting/strange/intense, all of those words still don’t come close to what happened… I am not even sure how it all came about now (I wasn’t sure even the day after) but I believe that Fangs started it. I was asked some questions, at which time I told them what I thought about them, which you have already read.
There were more questions, at which time I allowed my mouth to override my better judgment or sense. I said some things but in defense of them I was being CHALLENGED. Fangs doubted my sincerity and said that I might be playing them.
Now all I can say is that comments like that really PISS ME OFF. I DO NOT PLAY, nor do I MANIPULATE, and to be challenged like that, well all I can say is I almost blew it right then and there. They were angered to say the least and I was put in my place real fast. I was put into the care of Nigel and Kalia, it seems that I am to become their pet, I am not sure what that will entail but I am now their Slave and I have a two month training period, at the end of which I will told whether or not I will be allowed to stay with them. I do hope that I please my Masters and Mistress
Nov. 26th, 2006 | 06:50 am
My Third night was spent learning about and getting comfortable with my Slave Gear. After that I went and spent time with an old friend Jaredian, we hit a club that he frequents Club Industry, after that we went to see his property and then went house shopping, he bought one and I went and got some new piercings, I also figured out how to apply my make-up that I had bought a few days earlier, I am even thinking about changing my hair as I am tired of the Punk Spike look. I am becoming so vain. After hanging with Jaredian for a while I headed back to Darkside where I danced and listened to some music alone, that is until Kalia showed up still dressed from the Party she just finished attending, she even allowed this Slave the pleasure of seeing her. She was breathtaking in a full-length red strapless off the shoulder dress. Absolutely Stunning. I think she did it to tempt me into trouble. We were able to talk for a bit before I had to leave, unfortunately Fangs and Nigel were not there, or maybe it wasn’t so unfortunate after all. I think I even got a hug out of the evening…Again I am not sure.
We talked a bit before I had to leave and she asked that I write her about what it is that she makes me feel. So here it is.
I feel completely inadequate in my ability to describe what you do to me. So I will start off verbatim with what I wrote about you in my journal after our first meeting.
“I have barely talked to her yet she dominates my thoughts. She has overwhelmed my senses and made me want to see even more of her. I do not have the words to describe her, there is something about her that makes me want her, to be wanted by her, to be devoured BODY, HEART, and SOUL. I would willingly give her everything. She has that power over me, I am helpless when she is around.”
Now I know that is a strange thing to say considering that we had only just met and all I did was get the tour from you, even though we did stand by the water and embrace and kiss. Although I am not even sure if it really happened because the entire time with you was hazy and surreal. When I am around you I do not know what is real or fantasy.
Even when I am not in Darkside with you or my Masters, you are never far from my thoughts; I would be amazed if you did not feel the intensity of my feelings for you, they must radiate from me in waves… I am completely dominated by you and yet you have done nothing but offer friendship so far.
Last night in your “Party Outfit” you were simply Breathtaking, the few words that I could say to you were not even close to the feelings that I was quietly enduring. You are my Mistress and I wish to please you, yet I can’t help but wish for more. I hope that my Honesty has not offended you.
Nov. 26th, 2006 | 06:58 am
My next night was spent mostly shopping, although I did get to spend time with Nigel and Kalia, they were bit Beautiful to behold. Nigel then gave me an assignment; which was a 500 word minimum essay on what a slave means to me. It started with the question of why I want to be their slave. So I had to really think about it and think about my place here with them. I do not wish to leave them but if I am afraid that I will not be able to satisfy their questions with my answers then…
This is what I wrote for him.
Allow me the strength to answer questions I can’t fathom.
Allow me the spirit to know Their needs.
Allow me the kindness to choke back retorts.
Allow me the serenity to serve Them in peace.
Allow me the love to show Them myself.
Allow me the tenderness to comfort Them.
Allow me the light to show us the way.
Allow me the wisdom to be an asset to Them.
Let me be able to show Them each day my love of my service to Them.
Let me open myself up to completely belong to Them.
Let my eyes show Them the same respect; no matter if I am sitting at Their side, or kneeling at Their feet.
Let me accept my punishment with the grace of a man.
Let me learn to please Them, beyond myself.
Grant me the power to give myself to Them completely.
Give me the strength to please us all.
Permit me to love myself, in loving Them.
Allow me the peace of serving Them.
For it is my greatest wish, my highest power to make their lives as complete, as they make mine.
This is my affirmation to myself as I step into this with you my Masters and Mistress.
To this date Master I have never really thought what it meant to Me to be a slave, sure I know that I am to due as I am told and that whatever you ask. I know the words and the actions. I know that I can please, and in doing so I will find pleasure also.
What does it MEAN to me though to be a SLAVE? Truth be told Master, I am a very insecure person; I am very intimidated by the three of you. I know that I might not show it but that is because of years of hiding behind the façade that I have created for myself. I have more than just the scars on my arms keeping me from opening myself completely. There is a lot of Pain and Rage within me and it is my dearest wish/secret hope that by submitting to you Three fully I will be stripped of both of them and be reborn.
I am hoping that by doing this I will be able to step out of myself and become something more. Being a slave for me is letting myself allow things that I have no control over. By giving myself completely to the Three of you I am hoping to be able to conquer my fears of rejection, loss, abandonment, and loneliness. By giving away my control I hope to be able to better understand who I am and to become a more complete person in the process. I know that it might seem strange that I feel as if I will be more complete by being a Slave but it is what I feel deep inside.
I am not submissive by nature, and my mouth can get me into trouble as you have already seen just before I was allowed this trial period with you Three. As soon as I saw all of you I knew more than anything that without you I would never be anything but the Shell that you saw when I first walked into Darkside with F.
I know that I have a lot to learn and a lot will need to be taught, I am willing and able to do this. Given the chance I will show all of you that I am a Good Slave, and later if permitted a better friend and companion…
I gave it to him night before last. Truthfully I do not know what else happened that night.
Last night though was a different story, the evening started with me showing things to Kalia then I was off to show Fangs and Nigel, we chatted a while about how things were going with me and if everything was going well with my training so far which I said that it was. Later that evening though is when the real training began… But we will get to that in a bit; first I want to talk about my conversation with Fangs concerning my growing feelings for Kalia and the role that I have chosen. You see I have a very romantic heart and a Knight in shining armor complex, and no disrespect to My Mistress but sometimes I can feel her sadness and it tears me up inside, I so want to be able to just take her into my arms and tell her that everything will be alright. BUT I am the slave and it is not my place to say these things or do these things.
My Master and I talked about this for quite some time, he is a Beautiful Man who listens with his Heart and knows what it is that his Family needs, perhaps that is why I am with the Mistress more than I am with Master Nigel who BTW is Fangs Partner.