So I have this male friend that I’ve been friends with for quite some time. Also for quite some time I’ve sensed he liked me. He’d try to flirt, but I would not really respond. I had no interest in him, still don’t. He lives in Iowa. I only know him online on Fb through a girl I’m no longer friends with due to us being MJ fans. Whether I had a bf or not he’d comment on my looks or say he wishes there were women like me in his state. He’s just not my type, tho I am sure he’d make a good bf. I can’t force it tho. I considered it but I literally have no attraction, did not want a long distance relationship, no did I wanna deal with his crazy baby mama drama. I feel bad for him tho because I know he just wants to be happy, just had the wrong women in his life.
We never really talk on the phone, mainly text every now and then. Did some voice app once, but we’ve never talked on the phone. I never try to lead him on. Just being a good friend and sometimes I’d vent about relationship stuff and he’d comment how lucky this guy was to have me. I never know how to respond to that, so I’d go off topic to deter anything that may be taken the wrong way. He’s very sensitive, but harmless. Somehow he has managed to fall in love with me. He’s tried dating other girls but they end in disaster. I try to comfort him and I tell him I pray he finds the one he’s looking for because he deserves it. I’m not even sure if telling him I’m seeing someone currently would make him feel worse. So I have no idea how to deal with this delicate situation. He’s never come forward with his feelings, not directly. However, he has gone through one of my good friends to ask her how to get over me on messenger. Then just recently he messaged her again saying to her that he’s still in love with me and that he guesses he should try to move on. Ugh what do I do? I value the friendship but I don’t want him to ever get the idea anything will happen.
I have never been in this situation where a guy friend has developed feelings for me and the feeling is not mutual. At least not this way. I can relate in a way because I’ve had huge crushes on guys who never like me back or they end up with someone else. I’ve just never been hung up on that long term. Especially for as long this guy has. I don’t wanna be mean, and since he doesn’t know that I know he’s gone to my friend talking about me, I don’t wanna snitch on her or embarrass this guy or hurt his feelings. Just a moment ago, he texts me asking if he can send me a card.
Any other time I’d be like ok to be nice, but since I know he’s still hung up on me this much, may not be a good idea. If he were to directly talk to me about his feelings, I’d still hate to hurt his feelings. I just don’t feel the same way about him. I feel bad. I really do want him to find someone. He knows I’m single but he doesn’t say much other than flirty stuff. I guess I’ll have to pray about how to handle this. Never been in this situation.