Boys don’t cry… they win?
Growing up, society’s message was clear:
Boys don’t cry. They’re supposed to be strong! Hold it in! Buck up!
Now, go out there and win the fight and bring home the bacon.
In our society, guys who show emotion are thought of as pansies.
Depressed? Anxious? Wuss!
Why is it okay and even expected in society for girls to be cautious, submissive and emotive and for boys to be risk-taking, confident and decisive?
Now, I don’t deny that testosterone fuels confidence and aggressiveness; I simply wish those qualities weren’t expected outright to be a ‘real man.’
I’ve just never been that way. I’ve never been confident or into sports. I’ve never been big on guns. I’ve always been sensitive.
My wife outranks me two to one in the confidence department. Why is this somehow wrong? She’s my rock.
From my perspective as a woman, I think what happens when boys are conditioned to view crying as “weak” or otherwise feminine is that crying is often seen as something hysterical. It’s not. Crying it actually a recognition and acceptance of emotion, for the most part. Of course, it depends on how one defines “emotion” and whether one knows what emotion actually is. It shows far more strength to cry and accept one’s emotional state than to avoid reality by denying its existence. What’s interesting, though, is that I think most people don’t cry in some form of losing self-control (although some do). For me, it’s more of an emotional release valve. When processing emotional states of being becomes too much, crying releases a lot of pressure (regardless of the state of emotion itself, like whether it’s happiness or saddness). I use crying as a way to balance.
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