Sorrow

So, I returned to college two years ago, after an eight year absence from it, only to fnd myself having the same troubles as before. I just can’t find something I’m good at and I can’t seem to take anything above 9 credits at a time. I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, ADD, chronic depression and suspect Fibromyalgia. I’m really awkward, both socially and otherwise and prone to panic attacks. I rarely speak to those I don’t know well. I enjoy learning and reading, but find the process of reading to be draining, as my mind always wanders. I’m currently working a dead end job stocking shelves part time, wishing I could find myself capable of succeeding in school and finding a job that feels rewarding and pays me at least 20k a year so my wife and I can get a house and rectify my infertility. I really have to fight not to feel really down on myself and hate myself. I’m 30 now. With each passing year, defending my station in life to family and friends who don’t understand my dilemma becomes harder. My wife is eternally supportive, but I know she too wishes I could find something better. Despite my desire to be a teacher or a librarian, it seems I will be doomed to retail. Must be positive…