Things are flat

I’m having what I call a flat day. Emotions are flat, mood is flat, nothing special to do, all is flat. My Mum and her partner Pat ( short for Patricia ) were here from Thursday to Sunday and have just left. For some reason my Mum’s GP has put her on one of my meds which is Mirtazapine, she spent the entire night in and out the bathroom throwing up. After her assisting me so much during my withdrawal from class A drugs period, it hurts to see her ill. I already miss the energetic and snappy mother I’ve known since birth. After staying sober and well away from alcohol for a good six months, I had a shower and rushed down to the pub. Craving some sort of social interaction but I’m seated at a table in the corner well away from human beings. Why I ask myself? Why always the need to fill my body with some sort of drug, medication or mind altering substance? Hopefully I will find out in this self discovery mood I have been lately. After hiding behind substances all of my life I’m discovering the new Me. No plans for later a part from stuffing my face with unhealthy crap. I’ve been taking it out on food something crazy. Never thought nutrition could be so comforting.

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