Wish

Overshadowed
By the past left unkept
Unraveling
Disheveling
(Under the rug swept)
Trying to figure this out

It’s not fair, I’m aware
That this spark we created
Is now a shadow I’ve become
Watching the clock tick
Until the clock can’t tock
And I don’t know when I’ll be done

I could be selfish
I could be reckless
But if you don’t know me by now
Then you haven’t figured me out

That I wouldn’t dare
To burden you deeper
This regret
I cannot fill with more clout

So I made the choice
That I didn’t want to choose
I didn’t want to
Cause either way I’ll probably lose

But I couldn’t bear
To be more unfair
To someone open
Honest
Who truly cares

So I let you go
I set you free
Wishing hopefully
Hoping for what one day
Might still be.

This was written for someone who I was recently in a relationship with. My first actual date in years and years. We only dated for 2 weeks… but those 2 weeks we dove deep. Deeper than I thought possible. I was not ready. I had to end it because I have some personal things to sort through first. I never dreamt it would of happened so fast… if I did, I would of never started. And now I had to end it. It’s not fair to either of us and I feel terrible for her. I wish her the best.

When this is over and done, I hope we can reconnect and start over. I really fucking miss her.