Peeking Through the Mists

I was struck at work today by a very intense feeling of nostalgia, as I came across two old friends from my elementary and high school years in the cafeteria.. Catching up with each, in turn.. one whom I had not seen for eight years, the other for four.. was a very interesting experience for me.

Which drew my gaze back here, to (F)OD.  It’s been months since I wrote anything at all.. longer since I wrote anything of note.  I don’t know who still even looks here.  I have not even bothered to check in this direction for some time.

But old habits die hard.

I read through some of my old entries.. some with fond smiles touching my lips, others that made me sad.  I spent a lot of time putting down bits and pieces of my life here that I had begun to forget.. or at least tucked away into my subconscious.

A lot has happened in the past few months.  In some ways, I’ve grown as an individual.  I would like to think, at times, that I am becoming an adult through the mistakes I have made.. and those that I occassionally still make. 

I’ve been working hard to change those things about myself that I feel don’t really belong there.  I’ve especially worked to control myself.. what I say, I mean.  I had a bad habit of saying very cruel things to people, which hurt them, and hurt myself, in the long run.

I have removed myself from a lot of hurtful situations, as well.  For those that do look here and wonder.. I do not live with my mother, anymore.  Though it means, at present, I am homeless… yet I am optimistic about it.  I feel free.  I am happy in a way that I was unaware I was capable of anymore.

That does not mean that there are not still many stresses in my life.  I admit that I still have my soap opera moments.. but the number dwindles as the months pass.

I hope those that I used to write for are still doing well.. Shaun-Marie, Brenda, Kali… and those who have faded into the mists of time yourselves… a pity.

Maybe I’ll try to update here a bit more often.