#grief

I’ve learned that grief has a funny way about it.  Just when you think you’re over the hump, it returns, stronger and fiercer than before.  It ebbs and flows.  Waxes and wanes.  It is peaks and valleys.  My life is split into two halves: before my divorce, and after it.  Before my divorce, I was&...

Day off from my job , doctors for my girl she’s struggling and my gp is brilliant . He sees her two weekly atm until he can work out if this is anxiety caused by grief or whether we have other issues, I suspect both and have done before any deaths. Ive 10 orders to…

I recently wrote about grief, and the last few months have slowly brought me to a life of extreme anxiety and depression. I spent months, up all night after work wondering if I was going to die out of no where, what I would do if I lost someone else, and basically swimming in my…

"I Can't Breathe" by Bea Miller Somebody get me a hammer Wanna break all the clocks and the mirrors And go back to a time that was different A time when I Didn't feel like there was something missing Now my body and mind are so distant Don't know how to escape from this prison…

There have been multiple instances of my breath catching when I think of tomorrow and that there will be one birthday wish that I won’t get. I don’t want to birthday without that one wish. He may not have texted me or sent me FB messages or flat out wished me a happy birthday on…

I screamed at you today. Hit my steering wheel a lot. Demanded that you explain to me why you decided to die. The uncontrollable, unexplainable rage hit. And my shoulders are still tight from it. And now I’m in a fog like state mixed with this sense of spiraling out of control. Why oh why…

Journaling is supposed to be good from my grief and for sorting through my feelings. Sometimes I feel like writing about it only makes things worse. Next week will mark two months since I lost Mom. I often feel so very alone. I moved across the country away from everyone and everything I know les...

I appreciate so much the kind notes from my last entry. The ferocity of this grief has really been what has surprised me the most. I find my self feeling disconnected from everyone around me. I find myself angry at life for moving forward. I catch myself just wanting to freeze in place and time&h...

My mom is gone. My mother passed away. Mom died. I feel like I am having to say these words over and over and over. Then again that is the mantra on repeat in my soul too.  At the beginning of December my mother had a seizure out of nowhere. She was a healthy, relatively…