#selfharm

A few days ago...I had a rough day My work has been slow, and due to miscommunication, my boss thought I preferred days off over working so she kept calling me off work. I ended up only working a half day last week and was stressing out about money all week. She gives very unapproachable…

Most days, I feel nothing. I don’t feel anything and I am so bored. I am so bored of waking up and feeling nothing while everyone around me is drowning in a cascade of emotions. I try to fill the void, I buy things I like, I don’t like them, I hurt myself, it doesn’t…

I hate coming home. It’s a Friday evening - a beautiful evening - and I’m drinking. I’ve been scheduled in work all week next week, which I’m happy about. It’s an escape. I see friends. I forget. But for now, I’m drinking. I hate when I do this. It fucks up my running and that’s…

So, I started restricting again on May, 11th of this year. It started at first as a way to keep myself from self harming by cutting and overdosing. I knew those would eventually get me into trouble again and I didn’t want to take that risk. Sadly, I find it’s much easier to hide an…

I don’t want to trigger anyone. I do want to use this open diary as a safe place for myself and everyone else to share our honest thoughts. Mine aren’t always good but they aren’t always bad either. I am struggling a lot that’s for sure. I read back on my entries from 2007 and…

Just writing this entry to let all the people who might come across my journal and be offended, disturbed or triggered....I am sorry. Please just don’t ready my entries. Honestly I only came back to this site to journal my daily struggles in life And to try and help myself and let out my emotions...

These are images of my self destruction  first image was of me contemplating cutting myself  superficial cuts cuz i was down and not thinking clearly. 2nd picture was taken about an hour later as I impulsively cut myself too deep for comfort. Third pic was taken while I was on the phone after cal...

Woohoo. I was down another pound today which made my very happy and excited and able to get through the day. Yes started restricting again or rather not eating after 7pm and I’ve lost a total of 7lbs since May 11th. My bmi was at the brink of the overweight category so I needed to…

I’ve got a ways to go but I’ll get there. My lowest weight at 5’4 was 95lbs. Oh how I wish I would have appreciated my body then. I used to think I was fat at that weight. Wish I could go back in time and just appreciate my body. I’ve come to the conclusion…

Don’t know how long my journey will last. It’s been a struggle for sure but has had its ups. I’m tempted all the time to just take chance, play Russian roulette with my life so to speak. It’s only takes me a split second to join the game. The outcome so far, I’ve been so…