"No one is useless in the world who lightens the burden of another." - Charles Dickens
We have all had times where we feel lost or alone. In this place, you can be supported by other Open Diary members who may have had a similar experience. The anonymity of our site allows you to open your heart and express your true feelings.
We have all had times where we feel lost or alone. In this place, you can be supported by other Open Diary members who may have had a similar experience. The anonymity of our site allows you to open your heart and express your true feelings.
You Are Not Alone Circle
Oh! My time!
I washed my armpits. cause it stinks. cause I am poor, showering is inconvenient for me, and I'm poor at time, I've got work to do. It's not my fault, It's not MY fault. I was born with it. Ann...nnd, my laptop fucked, it gonna take me about two or so to fix it. If…
7 Week Ultrasound Results
I survived the day waiting for my ultrasound. Barely. I worked through lunch as my anxiety was awful and I needed to stay busy. It was rough staying away from Google. Basically every time I googled I wanted to cry. Each result left me with the same feeling - My baby wasn’t going to make…
1 Reason to live.
I am truly and utterly exhausted. Yes, I'm tired in the way that every human seems to be tired, but I'm also exhausted of life. Feeling things is too much, however not feeling would be devastating. Being touched is overstimulating, but not being touched is unbearable. I'm afraid of nothing and te...
7w2d – HCG sucks. Ultrasound later today.
If I didn't already have extreme anxiety this pregnancy would have been the cause of it existing. I've already struggled with anxiety for ages though, so it's nothing new. It's just - more extreme, worse than normal and NOT getting better. There is nothing joyful about being pregnant currently....
7w0d – Still pregnant. Still bleeding. Still terrified.
This roller coaster - it's something I don't wish on anyone. The pain, fear and anxiety are hard to explain or to fathom - unless you've been here and experienced this. Today - today I'm 7 weeks and 0 days. We've made it to week 7. Is my baby alive today? I have no idea. …
6 weeks 1 day – Likely Miscarrying
6 weeks 1 day - I was so looking forward to hitting this point. To taking the Sneak Peak gender test at 6 weeks. Finding out if the male or female embryo had worked. So, excited. Now, I'm just sitting her numb, broken, hurt. Waiting for what I expect to be awful, heart breaking news. …
5w0d – This is rough.
Rough. That is one way to put my current feelings. This pregnancy is WAY harder than I thought it would be. I am an absolute disaster. 150%. Ugh. My body, mind, brain, emotions - it all hates me currently. I had 5 days to taper off the Clonazepam as it isn't safe during pregnancy. Also,…
4w1d PREGNANT after IVF!
Seriously, I'm STILL pregnant. It hasn't ended. Completed my first beta on Wednesday, 8/2/23, at exactly 4 weeks pregnant - 62.6. I'd of liked it to be 100+, but 62 is okay. I have to keep reminding myself that the number itself doesn't matter as long as it's basically above 30 or 50 (depending...
7DP5DT – We’re having a baby!
The title says it ALL. 7DP5DT - essentially 12 DPO - And the tests are POSITIVE. Like TWO lines. It's real. I got a VVVVVVVVVFL Saturday (5DP). Like so faint I accepted there was no line and noticed hours later there actually was a slight something. Assumed it was an indent/evap and moved on....
IVF Journey is awful. Work Rambling.
Another "fun" day at work. Note the sarcasm. We've got a new scanning platform to keep all of our files electronically. It's great - but time consuming and repetitively boring. Thus, I'm just scanning in between actual tasks. All my files for May forward are current. Now, I'm just keeping up...