I have been debating rejoining Open Diary over the past few days. To me, it’s like a break up that I didn’t want to happen, I accepted it because nothing lasts forever and now he’s back? So is it meant to be because he came back to me after I set him free? OD dumped me. He gave a two weeks notice. I moved on. I am a writer so I can’t not write, right? I don’t need him!
But now Open Diary wants to get back together and this time he’s asking for money? My first reaction was, “NO, F*ck that!” but then I started thinking how I am not a broke college student anymore, I don’t need open source to survive. I graduated college, I am an adult now and I have money. I pay subscriptions for Netflix, Hulu and Sattelite radio, why not invest in Open Diary? OD was my buddy, so many nostalgic memories and feelings came flooding back to me. Inspiration lit a fire in my stomach and suddenly the chattering monkeys in my brain are clamoring for a chance to speak, they have a medium, a stage, a voice that wants to be heard.
So let’s think about this… What am I getting in return for my money? I pay for Netflix Hulu and SirusXM for my family to enjoy. And I like knowing it’s there when I need it (although, lately I grounded myself from entertainment until I pass my certification exam) but this, this is different. This is for me. It makes ME happy. Why shouldn’t I invest in myself and my happiness? I have been journaling the old fashion way on paper again for over the past 2 years. I have hand cramps and filled books to prove it. I miss blogging before it felt too much like a job. My biggest hang up on my online blogs was picking the right background image and layout that best reflected me personally while matching my mood at the moment.. and bam! I am perplexed if I should be public or private anonymous or not… My GAWD! What should my NEW username be because anyone who knows me can easily find me by googling my old username. Why am I worried? I am not important enough to be stalked, relax. There are people in this world whose lives depend on exposure and making a name for themselves as a brand, a paycheck. They are struggling for popularity and they should have it because that is what they want. I don’t need that in my life. Keep it simple.
OD takes away that anxiety. I get more enjoyment through the day just thinking about what I want to write, it’s fulfilling.
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah that’s right. OD wanting my money. So what am I paying for? I am paying for an elite community of like-minded intellectual individuals who enjoy the art of writing and reading as much as I do. I am paying for the owner(s) to supply the servers, electricity, hosting storage space, domain name and admirable computer skills.
How is this any different than going into a trendy coffee house, sitting down paying for the atmosphere with your cup of java while chatting with friends and strangers? Speaking my mind without fear of judgement? I don’t have to please anyone here. This is for me. I am not for everyone. No one needs me in their life here. I am free… free to freely write without edit. No masks. No Ads. No traffic ratings that make me as valuable as my subscribers, fan base, and my importance ranked by popularity, followers, how much exposure I can provide for marketers to market, etc…. I am paying to put food on the creators’ table without taking food away from my own families table.
OH and the most important thing of all… I am paying for a superhuman power to read peoples minds. Real people with real problems who struggle and survive in this game of life. Some of us are winning, some of us are losing, but the fact remains the same… We didn’t ask to be born, we are just here, and I don’t know about you but I am going to make the most of it.