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Gone but not forgotten

August 26, 2019
It was a photo. My first child, who is a mother now herself, was only days old. I had put a tiny pink dress on her with white tights that sagged on her little bird legs. She had only been 5 pounds 11 ounces at birth but she was likely even tinier than that at…
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Recent Entries

  • Asset 6
    On and on
    August 26, 2019
      I had lost interest. Forever, I thought. But maybe not. As Simon and Garfunkel put it, "I tend to lean on old familiar ways." I am older. The boys are older. We live much the same, pretty simply but (mostly) happily. We have days. We have hours. We have moments. And this is still…
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  • The beginning
    November 4, 2017
    I have a story to tell you. It is not a happy story. Maybe I will tell it in half truths in the way that life is often a mash of truths, retellings, intuits, and wistful thinking. You will have to decide your own feelings about the crux of it.I have to preface this with…
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  • Wings..
    October 21, 2017
    I took my youngest son to tumbling the other night. It's a long sit for me, an hour and a half. At one point behind me (as I tried to read a book on my kindle) I heard a father laughingly berating his young son. He called him "Sawyer" several times. It made me smile…
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  • Just..
    October 13, 2017
    The week rattles along like a steady rocking freight train. Homework, dinner, work, showering, political shows, work meetings, gathering documents to renew the boys' Dutch passports, new tires for the van, vacuuming, laundry, dishwasher load and unload, reload, dinner out...then suddenly, the wee...
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  • Post
    October 10, 2017
    And whoosh, it is suddenly Tuesday evening! The weekend sped by at breakneck speed. Kind of like how my younger two boys are growing up. Some of you have seen the double lines of the first preg tests of these two and now they are 8 and a half and almost 7 respectively. They are…
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  • New view
    October 10, 2017
    I spent several months last winter working full time plus. I saved up enough to buy plane tickets for the four of us to go on our annual trip to Oma's house in the Netherlands and to buy a swanky huge sectional for the living room. And while I am swoony-in love with the sectional,…
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  • Morning
    October 5, 2017
    The second cup of coffee (half-caff and almond milk creamer these days) is empty. First faint rays of light streak the sky. Dog and cats have been fed. Luckily, no live or dead rodents have been drug in through the dog door. Normally, I'd be off work today but I am filling in so a…
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  • Jumble
    October 3, 2017
    I wanted to write yesterday but it's like the totality of life sat before me in the living room on my new rug like a huge jumbled ball of..stuff. I spent a good part of the day walking around it, pulling on my lip, and wondering just where to begin. So I didn't begin at…
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  • Are we?
    October 1, 2017
    Really? Are we back? Am I back? Can't tell yet. Fingers feel rusty. Cogs moving super slowly in my empty cranium. Where to begin? How? How far back? But yay...just yay!
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