Recent Entries

• Context for me

  May 26, 2019

  So fifteen years ago I had a severe breakdown, was hospitalised and diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. In the last fifteen years I have clawed my back to the light; to a common reality; to a place where I feel vaguely connected to the people around me. I'm still working on this. I am a lot&he...

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• The back-story

  May 26, 2019

  So. I met this guy eight years ago on holiday in Europe. I fell for him so, very, hard and I think he fell the same for me. He was married, I was in a relationship and neither of us was happy with our partners. We spent a week together and it was magical. When…

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• Moving on

  May 26, 2019

  He messaged back. The guy I messaged eleven months ago. I messaged him again, two months ago, about two hours after finally breaking up with my ex. I'm not proud of myself, waiting such a short amount of time before approaching someone else but in my defence I didn't expect him to reply. I was&he...

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• Self conscious elaboration

  May 26, 2019

  My ex may not have been in a similar place to where I was ten years ago. I know that saying this makes me sound absolutely terrible but I do believe that I'm not entirely narcissistic, egotistic and terrible to say this because there are so many aspects to him which I do think used…

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• Eleven months later

  May 26, 2019

  He messaged back. It's so funny- the last time I wrote on here I'd had a really bad night with my boyfriend and then texted an old flame, on the off-chance that he'd message back and offer me some temporary relief. I messaged him one evening, and then wrote the next day that he hadn't…

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• Still reflecting I suppose..

  June 15, 2018

  So he didn't email back. I guess it's only been 12 hours or so, and I wasn't really expecting him to. It was a stupid thing to do, and a part of me felt bad but another part said you're not f*cking making out with him, you haven't actually done anything which would warrant you…

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• A Return

  June 14, 2018

  This is the strangest thing. Me and my boyfriend are on the rocks. I'm resisting the bottle of vodka sitting on the table in front of me, which perhaps represents some kind of personal growth, and instead messaged a guy I knew years ago who still rattles into my head at times like this. Nothing&h...

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• Tarot Cards

  January 28, 2014

  I am sure that my tarot cards smiled at me. I am sure that they heard my single question: "tell me the truth" and rushed out into the great unknown void of future on scouting missions to asertain the liklihood of happiness for me. My friend read them for me, she placed them on a…

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• Time Lag

  January 28, 2014

   Old words resurface on a screen, in through my eyes and out the other side. It seems nothing happens when I think it happens, there is a time lag, sentiments expressed perfectly seem not to bear fruit during the summer and wait until  winter cold as ice creeps   in and freezes eve...

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