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11/01/2021

January 11, 2021
So... good times, weird times but also good. I've been freaking out a little bit at the moment about the fact that I'm wanting to drink more than previously, or I"m thinking about alcohol more than I have done previously in the sense that before last year I"d pretty much drink when I wanted to,&h...
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Recent Entries

  • 17/11/2020
    November 17, 2020
    I'm so sick of this rambling to nowhere. I woke up late, and was pissed off but got straight in front of the laptop and actually did about two hours good work. I'm now trying to work out the best way to approach the rest of the evening, so that I can get up tomorrow.…
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  • 16/11/2020
    November 16, 2020
    I just wrote a long self-exploratory entry which had a lot in it. OD deleted it. FFS
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  • 04/11/2020
    November 4, 2020
    Today I give thanks. I give thanks for the beautiful sun which has come out today and meant that walking back from the surgery was really nice. I give thanks that S was able to take my blood which means I don't need to travel over to East Surrey. I give thanks for P who…
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  • 02/11/2020
    November 2, 2020
    I was low this evening. Low until about five mins ago. I get so tired of these changes in mood, changes in perception. I thought things were slowly working out in my head between mum and me- I haven't conceded I've just realised there's no point wasting energy in the way that I was. I…
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  • 31/10/2020
    October 31, 2020
    So today's been weird. It's been absolutely throwing it down with rain up until about a couple of hours ago. I got up late, about 11.30 and spent the first four or so hours of the day mooching about and trying not to let the weather get to me. I had all my hair cut…
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  • 29/10/2020
    October 29, 2020
    I'm flat again. But this time really, really flat. It's 6.50pm on a Thursday evening and I'm considering simply going to bed right now because I'm practically asleep already. I had a date tonight. I ended up cancelling at about 3ish this afternoon- the thought of travelling all the way up to cent...
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  • 28/10/2020
    October 28, 2020
    So my mental health has been weird this morning. Dad's over here at the moment, putting up lights in my hallway and lounge. They're pendant lights and so need the attachments which hold the bulbs at the moment need to be taken out and replaced with new ones. Is therefore slightly trickier than si...
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  • 27/10/2020
    October 27, 2020
    Went out with mum to B&Q this morning to pick up lamp-shades, and ended up finding a nice table that will go well in the hallway next to the bookcase. Then got home just in time for my psychology appointment at 1pm, which went well. We're still talking about the self-compassionate work, and a...
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  • 26/10/2020
    October 26, 2020
    I still feel flat. Perhaps less thin than last week. As I sit here I'm aware of this space, external mainly, as if the quiet of my flat takes on its own quality although it's not negative. AArgh I just wrote like a paragraph, and then it deleted itself. Annoying. Now I have to decide…
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