Let's get one thing straight: I am not. Lesbian, schizophrenic, untidy, chaotic, psychotic, rejected, unloved. But: loving, caring, empathetic, honest and direct. Please be kind, I will be kind in return. Just trying to reach for freedom from the prison of my life.

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Life and memories

November 15, 2018
I had lunch with Professor Cristina. I told her that Professor Sara is likely to offer me the chance of making a PhD, but that she proposed looking for a media-professor to have a co-coaching, since my curriculum is mainly focused on media studies. Well, Professor Cristina immediately offered me ...
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Recent Entries

  • Prayer to Hathor
    November 14, 2018
    Hathor, Goddess of Love, Joy and Beauty Tomorrow I will have lunch with the woman I love. She sent me an e-mail asking if I had time. Of course I have time. I never thought I would ask a Goddess to give me the love of someone, since I was accustomed to praying to a…
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  • Open letter to a beloved one
    November 12, 2018
    Dear Kerstin, my dearest one, I should be studying right now, but I cannot stop thinking about you and about what could have happened to you in the last... 13 years. We were both 25 years old as we met for the first time. For me, it was love at first sight. It might not…
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  • Law study memories
    November 11, 2018
    Studying media law next Saturday's exam just reminds me of the time I was a law student. I hated it. I started hating it as soon as I discovered that law has nothing to do with Justice. It is just turning things upside down until you can demonstrate that you are right, and your opponent…
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  • Wasted youth
    November 9, 2018
    Many things are over, I feel tired but I have two presentations and an exam next week - so I do not have time to be tired. I am studying, pondering if I can give myself half an hour to stop by here and write a couple of lines - yes. Ely is on a…
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  • I remember
    October 31, 2018
    First day at work at the conference. Things went ok, I felt not at ease most of the time since Professor Gabriel and Doctor Ben are not among my sympathies. They are among the organisers, and feel very important. Maybe they are. I try to be nice to Professor Gabriel, but he is an arrogant…
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  • Empty happiness
    October 29, 2018
    Each day, I keep record whether it was a day in which my mother particularly hated me or not. Today was one of those days in which she caused me great suffering. I woke up extra early in the morning to clean her room before I headed to University. While I was leaving, she stumbled…
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  • The criminal friend
    October 27, 2018
    God is everywhere, he is the "being". We all participate in this, since we all "are". And I hate this. I do not wish to exist, to be. The creator did not do us a favour, since existence is suffering. And Jesus is the allegory of suffering: a man who was betrayed by friends, kissed…
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  • A male friend
    October 26, 2018
    Today I met a man, within a professional frame. He might be gay, but this is not important. We will call him Wally. I have met him some time ago, he has always been distant even if quite nice. He is nice by nature, it is just his character. Charming. Not particularly handsome. Normal, it…
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  • Fair trial
    October 24, 2018
    Well, I am sitting in class, unable to follow whatever is being said. I was playing with the dating site application, since there is a woman who messaged me five times today and I thought that this was the right distraction to tinker with right now. She is physically not the kind of woman I…
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